Hellbound
by mewmewramazika
Summary: This is a VERY rough copy of my NaNoWrimo story I will be working on until November 30th, with that in mind; there will be rough grammar. I'll go through and edit everything December 1st, after I have hit 50k words, I will not be editing before then. Warnings: Violence, angst, swearing, sex. Story is about a fan made OC and her struggles with HYDRA and not turning into a weapon.


Life, what a meaningless waste of the chemicals and molecules needed to create a human life.  
What is the point of living when you will never have control over your own being? When you are born to be damned, to be used as a weapon until you are completely useless. When you can't even decide when you are useless, because your body has a mind of its own that you can't control; even when you are done, it continues on.  
The buzzing in your ears, the blood drying where your once missing arm had had enough time to grow along back into place. Even though you are done.

I suppose that was just my fate, one of my parents must have pissed off the wrong God right before they met. Or perhaps, the gods were trying to punish the world and failed.

"Is she awake?"

Of course I was, laying completely still in the ice cold freezer that they called my room. A thin blanket protecting my body from the stone floor.

"I don't believe she can even sleep."

"Girl!"

I debated on laying there longer, focus on the tingling in my left elbow where my body was readjusting to the rest of my arm growing back. However, I'm not an idiot.

Slowly, I lifted my right arm to verify that I was indeed awake and listening. Not that I had the choice, I already knew what they were there for. I knew before they had even gotten into the elevator to come to my dungeon.

"Very good," the Russian said, I could remember the smell of his breath from when he removed my arm from my elbow. "We have job for you, girl."

"And why would I do anything you want?" I asked, my voice was venom.

"We don't want any trouble," the second voice said, "This may be the last job we have for you, and then we might let you go."

I laughed, my small voice filling the room, echoing against the walls. "We all know that will never happen," I replied, "I'm too valuable for your boss to let go."

The Russian snorted, "She is right, we all know what she means to this operation. It is bad enough the Solider got away."

I opened one eye at this and looked to them, trying to hide my surprise at this information. If it was anyone but them, I would almost admire how hard they fought to keep that information from leaking out to me.

"The Winter Solider is gone?"

The American gulped, and his pulse quickened, "He had some help getting away from us, don't get any ideas." He said.

If the Winter Solider could get away, perhaps there was a chance at me escaping at last.

I had met the man, one a few occasions. I watched them torture him, and he watched me be tortured by them. We never spoke, not even when we had missions together. We were weapons, we both knew we didn't have a chance.

He was a handsome man from what I remembered of him, tall, with beautiful blue eyes.

"Do you want me to go and find him? Is that my mission?" I asked, I knew I couldn't actually capture the Winter Soldier. His skill was far above my own.

The Russian laughed, I was really starting to hate the sound of it. His laugh sounded so rotten, like an apple that had been infested by worms. "No, that would be your end. We need you for something better."

"That is a conversation for a different time," the American piped in, "You already know too much."

"I know everything." I stated and pointed to my head, I could hear their thoughts; I could hear them pondering what to say next while they attempted to hide the important information from me.

The Russian laughed once more before he lifted his hand and pressed the outer wall, the control panel slid the doors of my room closed and once again left me staring into the dark.

Damn HYDRA, damn Professor X for not taking me in, damn the God's for not protecting me.

I was born into this world just like every normal human girl. I was just born with abilities that my father wasn't expecting to have to deal with, my mother hadn't warned him of her true nature and died shortly after I was born.

I shouldn't hate him too much, when HYDRA came to his doorstep offering him money to take his possessed four year old and taking the money. HYDRA was still in the dark back then, everyone had thought they disappeared when Captain America crashed into the ocean.

He was a young single father with no family, and money left behind to him after his parents were murdered.

He wasn't expecting his child to be strange, and I hoped that he didn't know HYDRA had planned on turning me into a weapon.

I still hated him though, I knew nothing about him besides a name and what the HYDRA soldiers thought of him.

Knowing his name would never get me anywhere, the dark whispered these thoughts to me. I didn't even know who I was, let alone how to find him. I would never dare to ask anyone around me anyway, they didn't even know that I knew anything about the subject.

I laughed into the darkness, mostly at myself, but at them as well. Trapped within my thoughts, and most of theirs. The walls could only protect their minds so much, and the darkness just seemed to make me stronger.

Could I escape? I had before of course, I haven't been trapped in this room for sixteen years straight. They always found me though, the chip pressed into my spinal cord helped with that.

I pressed my new left fingertips against the back of my neck, sliding them along the nape of my neck and to the spot where the chip was lodged. I could feel it there, not physically, but my mind knew it was there. My mind always knew when something wasn't supposed to be somewhere.

How did the Winter Soldier escape? The last I had heard about the man, he was sent on a mission to destroy Captain America. I was surprised, but at the same time I wasn't. I could always sense the goodness that was trapped deep within his mind, past were years of torture and brainwash still couldn't touch the purity of his mind. He didn't even know who he was most of the time.

"I'm glad one of us got out."

One of us deserved to escape this place, even if it was him and not me. If that had been his plan, I wished I would have known so I could have left when he did.

" _The Winter Soldier is gone, we need her to do this, boss's orders."_

The thoughts of another pulsed through my brain, I knew his voice. The rest of his thoughts to follow made him easy to recognize as well, he was like their leaders lap dog. I didn't know his real name, actually, I didn't know anyone's real name.

" _I know it's dangerous, but it's not like she really remembers where she came from. We did a good job with that."_

The thoughts stopped outside the room door before there was a click and the door sprung open. Light streaked in and attacked my green eyes.

"Get up," he said, "We need to get you ready for your next mission."

"And if I refuse?" I asked, raising a hand to block the light from my eyes.

"You still act as if you have a choice," he laughed. "You don't."

" _This poor pathetic being."_

He looked at me as if I was damaged goods, he wasn't as good as the others at hiding his thoughts from me. That or he just didn't care.

" _She knows she has no free will, she's just fucking with you."_

"I'm not fucking with you, I'm just hopeful still that one of you might have a change of heart," I said, breaking his thoughts, "I'd like to hope that I'll be out of here some day, maybe one of you doesn't want to be a bad guy forever."

"We aren't the bad guys," he said, and he truly believed that, "Now get up."

I pushed myself up off the floor, my legs wobbled below me. I couldn't remember the last time I stood up. Had it been a week? I couldn't remember the last time I ate either, or bathed for that matter.

"We're going to get you cleaned up before you see the boss."

Two women walked down the hallway and stepped into my room, they were the usual girls who showed up when I needed cleaned up. Their eyes were missing from their eye sockets and their lips were roughly tied closed with a thick metal wire.

I remembered the first time I saw them, " _If you don't want to be a bad guy, then you would never harm two defenseless blind girls."_ The lap dog had snickered at me.

I had been so horrified that they did something so horrible to two innocent women just to keep me trapped in here.

The two women walked slowly into my room until they each found one of my arms, how long had it been? Ten years? They had gotten a lot better at walking around on their own, they hated their lives. Their thoughts so miserable and full of thoughts of suicide. I felt their pain deep within what was left of my soul.

My door flicked closed, "I'll be back in twenty minutes." The man said as it closed between us.

The shorter of the women dragged me into the small bathroom, it was mostly a toilet and a shower head with no space in between them. It barely counted as a bathroom of any sort, but it was all I had ever had.

The taller woman turned the shower head and checked the temperature with her hand, the other woman pushed me under the water. I realized at that moment, I had been naked for days.

Even blind, the women did a good job getting me cleaned up. Scrubbing dirty and dried blood from my skin and hair, the whole time they thought about how awful I smelled.

"Sorry." I muttered a meaningless apology.

" _It's not your fault honey,"_ the taller one thought, " _We can hear your screams throughout this hellhole."_

My eyes shifted to the floor, I could hear their cries throughout the nights as well. The shorter woman never spoke to me, but the taller one always did. At least one of them didn't resent me for what HYDRA did to them.

" _Don't pity us, our lives before this wasn't much better. At least we get fed here, our rooms are a lot nicer."_

Her thoughts told me a story.

The two women were standing in the pouring rain, wearing barely any clothes as they scratched their arms.

"$300 for a good time!" The shorter one said, propping herself against a man in a suit, "We'll do anything your wife won't."

I could see him through the taller woman's eyes, taste the desperation for drugs on her tongue.

The man, was the lap dog, ten years younger. "I'm not looking for whores, I'm looking for people who follow the same beliefs as my master," he said to them, "My employer is looking for women to help him take care of his newly adopted daughter."

"I don't think we're qualified for a job like that." The taller one said, suspicion in her mind.

"Of course we are," the other woman piped in, "How much?"

"My employer wants care at all times throughout the night," he said, "He's offering shelter, food, and a place where two junkies can get clean. There will be no drugs around the child."

"We'll do it."

"Now wait," the tall woman said, "Selma, this seems a little too good to be true, we need to think about this."

"How many scumbags are going to offer us this? We can barely get $300 to take us both at the same time." Selma said, rolling her eyes.

The lap dog smiled, "Selma is a smart woman, I'd listen to your friend," he said, "You can come to my car and look over the contract. If you're not pleased, you can get out and continue your night."

" _I'm sorry, did you get trapped in that?"_ Her words shook me from her thoughts.

"I did, I apologize, I didn't mean to invade your thoughts." I said, as the shorter woman turned the water off and handed me a towel.

" _It's not your fault, I was just showing you that we came on our own. We didn't read the contract. Selma has always been reckless like that, and I was too high,"_ she led me out of the bathroom, " _If we had read it, the contract stated that this would happen to us. They couldn't have anyone with a solid mind running off to tell the world about you."_

I dried my skin off with the sandpaper like towel before I threw my hair up in it, water speckled across my scarred skin. I walked across the cold floor, the feeling against my warm feet caused me to shiver.

"Do they still feed you?" I asked.

" _They do, they kept all their promises. I guess they're afraid of being sued."_ She laughed, the sound escaping through her throat. It sounded like she was being strangled.

I shuddered as I pulled clothes out of my closet, black pants, a bra and a black sweatshirt. I put socks on my bare feet before I pulled on my black combat boots. They were still stained from the last time the Russian cut my legs off.

" _I just wanted you to understand, it's not your fault we are here. I have something for you."_

I turned to her and she pressed a skeleton key into the palm of my hand, she closed my fingers around it and held onto my hand for a few moments.

" _Our lives are over, but yours doesn't have to be."_

"They'll kill you."

" _We want to die,"_ Selma said, she dreamed to cry but her tear ducts were long gone. " _We want you to do it."_

" _Please, just get out of here."_ The taller one said.

I gulped, I had killed people before of course. Killing was what I was good at, I tried to tell myself there was still hope for me. I didn't have to kill everyone I met.

"What's your name? Do you guys have any family I should alert when I get out?"

" _Grace Greensboro, and Selma Strait,"_ the tall woman released my hands, " _We don't have anyone."_

Selma reached out through the darkness and locked her hands with Grace's. " _Please, we're ready."_

Their eye less sockets stared at me, if they had eyes they would be begging me. Just like their thoughts were.

I took a breath, "Thank you both, for taking such good care of me." I shoved the key into my bra.

I reached out both of my arms, I focused on the palms of my hands. They tingled and black smoke surrounded them, I plugged each hand into one of the women's chests and pulled their hearts out.

They dropped to the floor, laying side by side as I dropped their hearts beside them.

I wiped their blood onto their dresses before I walked up to the doors they were locked from the other side.

I wished taking their lives phased me, but I didn't feel anything for them. The pity I had once felt was now gone, I was envious of them. They died so easily; as humans do.

But I'm not human.

The doors clicked opened and I lunged at the Russian, a surprised sound left his chest as I pounced on him. I shoved my right hand deep within his chest and ripped his heart out.

I tossed it to the side and grabbed his gun from his belt. Guns were almost useless to me, but I felt like it would be difficult to get too up close and personal with anyone else.

I shoved the gun into the hem of my pants before I ran down the hallway, there were three men coming down the elevator to the North. I could avoid them and hit the hallway on the South end of the hallway.

That would be the easy part. I had gotten this far when I was eight years old, the first time I had tried to escape.

I wiped my hands across the wall, pressing any buttons I could find on the flat surface beside the elevator doors. "Shit." I should have grabbed the Russian's badge.

" _What the fuck?"_

" _Everett, where is the girl?"_

" _Oh shit."_

The two men on the other end of the hallway had found the Russian, one of them threw up. Poor new guy, it was his first day on the job.

If he couldn't deal with that, then he wasn't cut out to work for such a terrible organization, that was damn sure.

I punched the wall, where were the buttons? Normally they would just appear when a hand got close enough to them.

A loud siren echoed through the speakers along the walls, "Red alert. Red alert." A monotone robotic voice called out.

Shit.

I kicked the elevator doors before I darted down the east side of the hallway, there had to be a room somewhere with a window. Or stairs. I would take stairs if I had no other option.

Stairs were what I found, I darted up them. Half-starving, I could still manage to run almost my full speed. Foot steps rang out from the hallway behind me, thoughts cursing me for ruining such a quiet night.

Fuck them. I found a door to my left and ran through it, I tripped over a broom in the process and landed hard on the cold floor.

I groaned and shoved myself up, I didn't have time for this shit. I found the light switch on the wall and fluorescent lights flickered through out the room.

" _She's heading towards the storage room. If I can get to her, then no one will think I'm weak for throwing up."_ The new hires thoughts slipped into my own.

Moving quickly, I closed the door behind me and flipped the latch shut before I propped the broom up to help hold the door closed. I had never been in this room before, I had once knew every spot of this dungeon. I suppose electric shock therapy would give someone's memories a helluva time.

The room was small, barely the size of the small cell that I stayed in. Shelves filled the space and made it seem even smaller, the wooden shelves were covered in boxes full of old papers.

"What is this?" I pulled a stack of papers off of one of the shelves and flipped my fingers through the dusty paperwork.

Most of the papers looked like advanced mathematics, something I could never wrap my mind around to understand very well.

I walked in between the shelves, I had a gun. I didn't know how many bullets were in it, but I knew there were no where near enough to get me out of there. Not in one piece at least.

My breath caught in my throat as I picked up the heart beat of the man following me, he was just a few steps away from the door. His thoughts had gotten louder, more desperate.

" _That bitch. I'll show her. She made me look like an idiot. I-I just wasn't expecting that! They said she was a demon, but to. To rip someone's heart out? Where the fuck did she go? I should have gone on that tour instead of being so eager to take the HYDRA badge."_

Stupid twat, he really believed HYDRA was a good place to work? I chuckled quietly to myself and turned right when the shelves came to an abrupt stop.

My sweet salvation stood before me, the moonlight beaming through the tints of the small window. It must have been my lucky day.

I strolled up to the window and pushed it open, thankfully with no trouble. I wasn't in the mood to have to break the damn thing.

" _What was that?"_

A bead of sweat dripped down my forehead, the door of the room started to wiggle.

" _Why is this door locked?"_

The wind from outside tickled my thick black hair across my face, the feeling caused me to gasp in surprise. It had been so long since I had felt the night air, or any air in general. How long had I been trapped in this dungeon? Weeks? Months? Perhaps even over a year or so.

I didn't even know what day it was, what year it was. Nothing. But I couldn't focus on that, I had to focus on leaving.

I pressed my green eyes closed. All I had to do was focus on anywhere in the world, not that I knew much about it. Just old books the women… Selma and Grace, had brought to me as a child.

Cold water, rain, dripped from the sky. The clouds were dark and the air crisp, it was on the edge of the United States. Close to Canada, but not too close. I couldn't pass the boarder very easily without a passport, it was bad enough I didn't even have any identification for the US.

When I opened my eyes again, black smoke was fading away from my skin and I was standing in the middle of a forest with thick trees all around me.

A deer had stopped to watch me appear before it went back to eating the green grass below its hooves.

I turned my head, the room that had once been behind me was long gone. I could finally breathe.

The air felt so fresh, no tang of dust or copper. Trees, flowers and the rain were the only things I could smell. I felt at peace, just for a few minutes. I wasn't quite out of the clear yet.

I made my way through the trees, allowing the roots to guide my way through the unfamiliar forest. If I had ended up where I wanted to be, I was somewhere near Spokane, Washington. My aim was rarely off, I knew I was at least in one of the Western States that was near Canada.

If I thought hard enough about anything and wasn't in a closed space, I could go wherever I wanted. My mind was strong enough to take me there.

My eyes darted throughout the woods, and I managed to quite literally stumble into a small cave. It was dry, and looked to be empty. I pressed my back against the back of the cave.

I had one last thing to take care of. I moved my right hand to the back of my neck and pressed my fingers against the spot where the chip was implanted deep within my flesh.

"This damn thing has to go."

I pressed my fingers deeper against my skin, the faded gray rings around my fingers glew black and filled the cave with dark light. I could hear animals scurry away from my hiding place, the magic too evil for them to with stand.

Taking deep breathes, the rings on my fingers grew into a line, which grew up my digits and into a sharp point. I dug the sharp points into the nape of my neck, cutting into my flesh. I clenched my teeth, growling to myself at the pain.

"Push through it."

I forced myself to continue, it was a different kind of pain. I could have my limbs removed, my organs cut from my flesh while being wide awake; but the pain from my own magic was unbearable.

I tore a chunk of my flesh from my neck, my fingers sticky with hot blood which quickly soaked into my sweater and down my spine. Another chunk followed, I set myself on autopilot and ripped at my skin until I met the feeling of cold metal. My left arm twitched as I lost feeling in it, followed by my right leg. I forced my right arm to continue its mission, even as it tingled.

My fingers wrapped around the chip and I pulled it from my flesh before I slammed my hand down and crushed it. The chip sizzled,the faint lights that had light it up dyed out. It was just useless scraps now.

Blood leaked everywhere, my back was coated in the sticky liquid, and the world outside the cave stunk with the smell of it. I knew no wild creatures would dare come too close to the feeling my dark magic had left into the air.

My head dipped down, my chin pressing against my chest, resting between my collar bones. My right arm went numb, I couldn't move any of my body but my eyes. It was getting harder to control them though, my eye lids felt so heavy.

I fought the dizziness as long as I could, before the world of blood loss drug me into a bittersweet darkness.

Days went by, I was sure of that much. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears, a soft groan escaped my pale lips. My fingers on each hand twitched, followed by my toes. Everything seemed to be working thus far.

The air was cold, it must have been around sunrise, the trees ached as the wind bristled through them.

Slowly, I opened my eyes. The sun was just starting to creep through the spaces in the trees on the opposite side of the cave.

Good, no one had stumbled upon me. Otherwise I would have probably ended up in a hospital and then straight back to HYDRA. I'd rather truly die then go back to that dungeon.

I reached my right hand up and brushed my fingers against the back of my neck. I couldn't feel a scar, it had been a clean enough heal. The back of my sweat shirt was stiff, I was going to have to try to figure out how to find different clothes.

My sweat shirt was covered in dry blood, the air around me smelled of it as well, and there was probably dried blood all around the back of my neck and tangled in my dark hair.

The chip still laid on the dirt beside of me, a light trail of dust had settled against it; it was still crushed to pieces and the lights were still off. Thank goodness, I hadn't been dreaming. I really did escape; but how long would it last me this time? The last time I had ran off, I had only really been gone for a couple of days. If that. They were always quick to get me back, and I knew this time I had to fight on harder than ever.

Each time they found me after I escaped, the punishment became worse and worse. My hand reached to my neck and I rubbed my right thumb against the pitch-black line that wrapped around my throat like some bullshit Tribal tattoo. The last time they had cut my head off, oh God, that had hurt so bad. That had been the worst experience of my life, my eyes still worked for several hours; I could still hear everything, my brain was functioning as if still connected to my pitiful body, I could still feel my hair tickling my face but there was nothing else I could do. Blinking was it, I didn't even attempt to speak the entire time.

I had laid there for hours until my brain finally went dead. There was darkness for days, I had seen the video. After four days of nothing, they had finally had the idea to move my head closer to my body - nearly two feet away, but that was close enough. My head reattached itself; I had watched it happen, but I still couldn't wrap my mind around what I had seen. I couldn't imagine what they would have in store for me if they caught me again.

"You can't think about that right now, idiot." I reminded myself, if I started thinking about failure already, then continuing onward was pointless.

If I was going to mentally give up before I started, then I should just go back before I was gone too much longer. It was unlikely, but still possible that they believed I was somewhere hiding in the dungeon.

I pushed myself up off the ground, my knees groaned beneath my weight, irritated from being still for so long.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." I muttered to myself, I ran my fingers through my hair attempting to destroy any tangles that had settled there from the wind of the small damp cave.

Being fully aware of how awful I looked, I stepped out from the cave's shelter. The rain had ceased, a slight breeze brought the smell of flowers to my nostrils, what an interesting smell. The sun was over top of the trees now, light sparkling through the limbs of the old oaks. I reached out a hand into a spot of sun and felt the warmth of the light against the back of it. I was almost startled by how truly warm it was against my deathly-pale skin, I stepped further out from the cave and found an opening in the branches.

I stepped into the light, letting the sun settle against my skin. I rolled my sweat shirt sleeves up to my elbows and stretched out my arms along with my fingers. The light brushed against the dark rings under my eyes, I didn't dare to squint as I looked up at the bright ball in the sky.

"How long has it been? Since I felt this much warmth?" I asked myself.

My cheeks felt heated within no time, I wondered how long it would take for a sunburn to set in. I laughed at myself, a sunburn in Seattle? Everyone would no in no time that I didn't really belong there; even though that would be obvious enough as it was once I found other human-beings.

I could always avoid them, but I needed to eat at some point and I was no botanist. I would probably poison myself a million times over, getting no where in the woods if I walked around eating nothing but berries.

The thought of food made my stomach grumble, and I groaned. It had already been over a week since the last time I ate, I had no money, so once I did find somewhere to eat, it wasn't like I was going to be able to do so.

"Shit."

I should have stole more than just the Russian's gun, I could still feel the cold metal pressed in between my hip and my tight jeans. That was another thing I had to worry about, I was pretty certain it was not socially acceptable just to walk around with a gun that had the serial number scrapped off of it. However, I did need to keep some type of weapon around that was more than just my body. I didn't have any strength as it was, I had barely been able to run away the first time, let alone get captured and fight against the soldiers that came to catch me.

"I just hope they don't find the Winter Soldier in the mean time."

That would be far worse than just a foot soldier finding me, even in my weakened state; I could take a foot soldier out on my own, possibly even three or four, but it would take one Winter Soldier coming after me to take me down.

There were so many risks to my plan that I should have thought up before I left, this all could have been some trap that HYDRA had talked Grace and Selma into feeding me. If anything Grace had shown me was even real.

Another groan escaped my lips and I pushed my sleeves back down, I should have grabbed a book bag and filled it with food, clothes and money. That would have gotten me a lot further than just running around an unknown state with nothing but one pair of bloody clothes and a loaded gun; which was possibly not even fully loaded.

"Shit, shit!" I cursed and kicked a nearby tree, the oak creaked at the impact, and a couple of its branches shook as if it was surprised by my uncalled for assault of it.

My curses were carried away by the wind though, and I knew that I had to just keep going. I didn't even know which direction the city was, I cursed one last time before I started my trek through the woods. I would have to run into civilization or a end in of the trees at some point, even if it took me a couple of days to do either or.

I walked for miles, upon miles, when the sun fell out of the sky, I climbed a tree and hooked myself to the thickest branch I could reach with my belt. I would survive the fall, but it would just be another set back, and the weaker I got; the longer it would take for me to heal correctly. I couldn't risk stumbling into the city with a half broken neck or my humerus sticking out of my skin. As amusing as that would be, the look on the faces of the humans I would run into!

It took me two days to find the city, my jeans were covered in mud and dirt. My sweat shirt beat up from bumping into trees and stumbling down a couple of hills. I had at least managed to find a river and dried my skin and clothes of blood, but that had partially caused the mud issue.

If I didn't quite look like a wild animal, then I smelled like one. Two days of walking however, had helped me focus on coming up with a detailed lie if anyone asked me any questions.

My name was unknown to me, which was also the truth, I was out one night after taking a bus from Cleveland, Ohio to Seattle, Washington. On my way to start a new life far away from my abusive ex-boyfriend, Alex, when I was roughly grabbed by three large men. The men shoved me into a dark colored van and drove me into the woods, they beat me and left me in the woods; they took all of my money, they took my identifications. I had purposely slammed a rock into the side of my head, leaving the blood to dry against the side of my face, forcing my body not to heal the wound too quickly. I had no memory of who I was, I could only remember my favorite football team from the state I was raised in, and the man that had forced me away from it. I would go to the police and file a police report, fake tears and tell a very believable story.

That would at least by me sometime, hopefully get me some food and may be someone would feel bad enough for me that they would give me at least a little bit of money. Police were supposed to give people like that shelter, right?

My perspective of them believed that much at least, not that I had ever actually seen a police officer in my life before though. I had only seen pictures in books, I just had to hope the image in the story was at least slightly accurate so I could find one once I got into the city.

The sky was dark and I stumbled through the unfamiliar streets. I pushed my damp hair out of my face as I shivered, the wind tickling my skin. I wasn't sure which way I should head, I could keep going straight until I found someone? That was a decent plan, but then I might really run into some weirdo.

I didn't want to have to kill anyone who was innocent, I had already killed two innocent women. I didn't have it any me at the moment, I was tired and starving.

My feet led me across the streets, I stumbled a little and nearly ended up face first against a light pole.

A car slowed down behind me, "Are you okay?" An older man asked me, his wife looked around him at me. Her eyes wide behind her thick glasses.

"No, please help." I begged, stumbling closer to their older red car.

The man put the car in park and quickly got out, "Martha, call 911. I think she's hurt." He said, he put a wrinkled hand against my right arm to help me stay up right.

"I-I don't know where I am."

"What happened?" He asked me, his wife had made her way over to us. An old flip phone in her hand as she called the police.

"I," I pressed my hand against my head, "I was coming to visit, someone? I can't remember."

The man examined the deep gash in my head, "How did you hit your head?"

"These big men grabbed me when I got off the bus," I said, hoping I was as good as an actress as I thought, "It was really dark and they took me to the woods."

His eye brows furrowed in concern, "Can you tell me your name, sweetie?"

I shook my head, the movement caused more blood to seep down my face, "I can't remember." I cried.

"The police are on their way," the old woman said, her hair was as white as snow and her fragile body was shaking, "They'll be about five minutes."

They were terrified for me, their thoughts in a panic over a stranger. What good people.

That was my lost thought before I hit the ground, I heard the old woman call out just before I blacked out.

Lights flashed as I went in and out of my sleep, I should have realized it sooner. The chip had been set to release poison into my spinal cord if it was ever removed. I could feel the poison at work, it would have killed most people by now; but with my quick healing my body must have been fighting it off the entire time. But, when I slowed my healing process for the cut on my head, I must have slowed the healing process for my whole body. Accidentally letting the poison set in.

"Who is she?" A stranger asked, his rough voice breaking through the darkness that surrounded me.

"She said she can't remember." The older man replied.

"She doesn't have any ID." Rough voice said.

"Thank you for calling us for her." Another man said, he had a country twang.

"Please keep up updated, this is our number." The older woman said, she still sounded so scared for me.

Where was I? My eyes refused to open. I was unable to detect anyone's thoughts, my body too weak to manage the task.

Damn.

I fell back into the darkness of my own mind.

 _Are you lost little girl?_

I shook my head, "No." I lied, I was lost. I didn't know what had happened, one moment I was scared and crying inside my room and then the next moment I had felt like I had fallen through the floor.

 _Do you know where you are?_

"No." I squeaked, my eyes searching the darkness around me.

A light came on about two car lengths away from me, I squinted my eyes at the sudden light as I started stumbling towards it.

My short legs felt like they weighed a million pounds.

 _You're not going to get far on your own._

"Where you? I can hear you in my head but not my ears." I searched the darkness after I placed myself under the light.

 _I'm right here, I can't let you see me unless you agree to help me._

My lips pursed together, "Just because I'm little doesn't mean I'm stupid."

 _Heh. If you're not stupid, have you figured out where you are yet?_

I squinted into the darkness, "Is this a nightmare?"

A bombing laugh echoed throughout my small frame, causing my whole body to shake. I sniffled in fear, I guessed that was the wrong answer.

"I want to go home!" I cried, rubbing tears from my pale face.

 _I can help you go home, but you have to help me. I can't leave unless someone helps me, and you can leave unless me or one of my friends go with you._

I shook my head, "Where am I?" I asked, my voice was so small. The light flickered in and out softly, making it even more difficult to see.

 _Have you heard of Hell? I don't know how you got here little girl, but if this was your plan then you are a stupid child._

Hell? I had heard people speak of it, it was supposed to be a horrible place for bad people who died.

"Am I dead?"

 _No, you're very much alive. For now. If one of my friends find you, you won't be for long._

"She's stable now, we're still not sure what happened office Davidson," A woman's voice meet my ears, "She came in dehydrated, and a fractured skull. We put an IV in her to get fluids into her system, but we can't explain anything else."

"Thank you," Rough voice, officer Davidson said, "The details are meaningless, at least she's stable now."

"One of our nurses have heard of people like her, with weird umm abilities, there is a school for people like her," the nurse said, "We could call them?"

"No," he said quickly, "Just leave this to the police department, lose her charts and don't came back in here."

" _Don't come back in? But this poor girl isn't completely healed. It's bad enough the head of the hospital wants her gone because we don't know how she'll pay for this."_ The woman thought, but she didn't say anything and just hustled out of the room. The door closed behind her with a soft click, followed by a second.

Did the officer lock the door? I didn't know anything about police, but that didn't seem right.

"Вы сделали беспорядок вещей демона," the man said. My heart clenched in my chest. Fucking Russians. "они Арент очень рад с вами." _You have made a mess of things demon, they aren't very happy with you._

"ебать их," I retorted. My body felt like it was floating and my skin felt like it was burning as it worked on releasing the poison. "Я убью тебя." _Fuck them,_ _I'll kill you._

The man laughed at me, it was a dark twisted sound. "You wouldn't get very far in your condition." He said, something cold pressed against my arm before I felt the IV pull out of my vein.

I snapped my eyes open and grabbed his wrist, the space in between his glove and his sleeve. My flesh met thick cold metal.

"Shit." I breathed as my eyes met his icy-blue ones. He was handsome, for a killing machine. His hair fell to his shoulders and he was dressed in a cop uniform.

He jerked his arm from my grip with ease, "Ты знаешь кто я?" He asked, taking the chest monitors off of me. _Do you know who I am?_

"Ты Зимний Солдат." I don't know how I managed to speak, my breath felt trapped deep in my throat. I watched my heart rate spike right before he removed the heart monitor from my left middle finger. _You're the Winter Soldier._

He growled, his blue eyes narrowing at me. "They told me you were stupid, I'm glad to see that was false."

That was a lie, he couldn't feel anything. HYDRA wanted me to be just like him, emotionless and cold. A robot that didn't have any of their own thoughts.

I gulped and weighed my options. I was in a hospital gown, and had no weapons. He was dressed as a cop and had at least one gun on his hip that I could see, and of course. A metal arm.

The large man reached to the floor and picked up a pull string backpack, he tossed it onto my lap. "Clothes, put them on fast." He growled.

"What if we don't go back?" I asked him, moving the hospital blanket off my small frame. "What if we just left?"

His eyes narrowed, "как же это получилось для вас?" _How did that turn out for you?_

"Они сказали мне, что ты ушел, что они потеряли тебя, солдат," I replied, getting out of the hospital bed. The gown fell against my skin, it was cold outside of the bed. "Я не думаю, что я должен был беспокоиться о ты идешь, чтобы получить меня." _They told me that you were gone, they had lost you, Soldier. I didn't think I had to worry about you coming to get me._

The Winter Soldier snorted, crossing his arms, "Put the clothes on."

I sighed, of course I knew my words would fall to deaf ears. He didn't even know who he was, the only reason he didn't kill me was because he was ordered to bring me back in one piece.

"Can you turn around?" I asked, I wasn't modest, I had been naked around many people by that point. He was different though, the way he stared at me made me shiver.

His cold blue eyes stared blankly at me, as if he hadn't even heard my request.

A sigh escaped my lips and I untied the hospital gown before I let it drop to my feet. At least someone had decided to let me keep underwear on, covering my vagina. My breasts bare as he stared at me, his eyes ran across my skin. His thoughts letting me know that there was at least a man somewhere trapped deep within him.

I turned my back to him and opened the backpack, I pulled out a black bra and put it on before I pulled a black tee shirt over my head, followed by a pair of jeans I wiggled up my butt. The clothes away fit, the agents of HYDRA had learned my sizes perfectly.

Movement behind me caused me to bump and I spun on my heels back around to face him just as he tossed my boots onto the bed. My heart was pounding, if he could hear it, his thoughts didn't give it away.

I pulled my boots onto my feet one at a time before I zipped up the backs. I turned back away from him and pulled the last item from the backpack, a red zip up hoodie. I pulled it on and zipped it up halfway to my chest.

"Time to go." His rough voice said.

"You need to work on your people skills," I said and pulled the now empty backpack over my left shoulder, "Or at least act like you have some."

He was silent and grabbed my right arm by my elbow and pulled me towards the door. He unlocked the door with his other hand and then pushed it open.

That was my chance, I had a feeling I wouldn't get another one. A car was probably waiting nearby for him to shove me into, they would probably drug me up enough so that I wouldn't wake up until I was back in my dungeon in the base.

Swiftly, I slammed the weight of my ride side into his body, using the arm he had a grip on as leverage. I snapped my elbow into his ribs, the sudden attack caused him to lose his grip as the other side of his body fell against the door frame.

He grunted before he grabbed my elbow again, his metal hand crushing into my bone until there was a soft sickening snap, the rest of my arm fell limb.

A few nurses stopped in their tracks to stare at us with wide eyes. Their thoughts scrambled as they tried to decide if they should help me or not. They looked at each other before a blonde female nurse shook her head, and hurried along, the other two quickly followed in her footsteps; the way they saw it, they weren't about to get in the way of a police investigation. Honestly, I didn't blame them. I would have kept on walking as well if I saw a large man in a police uniform dragging a girl along who had came to the hospital half-dead that had seemed to magically heal in a short amount of time.

HYDRA had known exactly where I was, I had only been gone for probably about a week. I still wasn't sure how long I had slept in the woods, I assumed a couple of days and then it had taken three to even get to the city. As soon as I had gotten there, he must have known I was there; that's how he was able to get his hands on a police uniform and be there as soon as the older couple had called the police.

I groaned as he shoved me, his grip on my elbow not lightening. He was pissed, I could feel his heavy breathing against my arm just before he shoved me away from him, letting go of my arm. My hand went to my elbow, I held it softly, cradling it against my side. God damn, it hurt.

"Keep walking, if you stop and try anything again. Я убью тебя." He growled, pushing his knee against my butt to shove me forward more. _I will kill you._

As much as I hoped that he had been ordered not to kill me, I believed his threat. There was no doubt in my mind that he would just chop me up and shove me into the backpack I had a hold of; he would take me back and they would leave me in the dark somewhere until my body formed back together.

I walked forward, my ears buzzing at all the sounds around me; all the pain-filled thoughts of people dying in the hospital around me. I didn't want to be a monster, I didn't want to turn into a brainless weapon like the Winter Soldier, I had never wanted any of this.

Each time I slowed my walk, one of his large hands would shove me forward. He was not amused by my actions, he didn't understand me. However, part of him was envious of me. Why did I get to keep my mind when he didn't?

If I could feel bad for a man like him, I would have. But I couldn't bring myself to do it, I had seen his records, I had seen how many people he had killed, the missions he had gone on. It broke my heart knowing how many people HYDRA killed each day, and they got away with it. Captain America was the only person who had ever gone after them, but as far as the public knew he was still only following around Iron Man and the rest of the Avengers. HYDRA kept tabs on them, but felt like he wasn't a threat until they were ready to go after him again.

"What if," I started talking as we walked outside, the cold air hitting my face without mercy. The wind had picked up since the last time I was out in the world, I was going to miss the feeling of the wind and the sun. The sight of the moon. "What if we told someone what they're doing?"

"Мы были бы предателей." _We would be traitors._

"Они являются злом и заслуживают его," I replied in Russian, "Я не хочу, чтобы пойти вниз в историю как монстр, ты?" _They are evil and deserve it. I don't want to go down in history as monster, do you?_

"Я оружие, монстр, и вот как я будет идти в истории независимо от того, что делать." He replied, grabbing my right arm right above my elbow. The bones clenched together softly. _I am a weapon, a monster, and that is how I will go down in history no matter what I do._

I winced, my vision blurring slightly as I stumbled down the sidewalk heading west away from the hospital. "Вот не как она несет быть." _That's not the way it has to be._

He fell silent again, his eyes gave away his pain as he fought a war inside his own mind. He tried to remember how he would have responded, what he would have done if he had never become the Winter Soldier.

"Кто вы были, прежде чем ты стал солдатом?" I asked softly, turning my eyes up to the star filled sky, the moon was full and it's light beamed down on us. _Who were you before you were the soldier?_

"I do not remember, it doesn't matter who I was. It matters who I am now, and that is the Winter Soldier," he replied, done with his silent treatment at least for that moment. "Вы либо очень глупо, или очень смелый. Никто никогда не осмеливается говорить мне." _You are either very stupid, or very brave. No one ever dares to speak to me._

"Obviously I'm a little bit of both. I just like to believe that deep down there is good inside everyone, I can feel it inside you, Soldier. There is a good man trapped under all of the torture they have put you through," I said, my feet coming to a stop at the end of the hospital parking lot, "I know that when you take me back there, they are going to make me just like you. They'll take my will, they'll make me a weapon as well. They have been arguing about it for years now. After they take my mind, I'll never get to fulfill my dream; all I want to do is help save people from them."

My green eyes met his blue ones, he stared down at me an almost soft expression on his face. He knew I was right, they had already probably spoke about it around him when they thought he wouldn't remember. His memory could only remember so much, but he had decided to keep a hold of thoughts of me.

I saw through his mind the memory of the first time I had seen him.

I had been so terrified, sitting in my room; that was when they still allowed me to sleep somewhere nice. I still had toys and snack time, it was before the first time I had escaped when I was four years old.

The man had been screaming for hours, in so much pain. My heart was racing as I ran down the hallway as fast as I could, I just wanted to find him. I just wanted to help him, to let him know I could hear him crying and I didn't want him to cry anymore.

There was a dark room at the end of the hallway, I had stepped inside of it foolishly to find him there.

He was surprised when he saw me, his thoughts told me. He had fell silent, his screams coming to an end when his eyes found a small little girl with long blond hair staring at him. "W-what?" He asked.

I padded across the floor, my bare feet making a light tap against the stone. "Why are you so sad?" I had asked him, looking up at him with big eyes.

 _Why is a little girl here? She shouldn't be here!_ He fought his restraints, "Go, go," he managed to say, "Иди домой маленькая девочка, пожалуйста." _Go home little girl, please._

"Я живу здесь, в замке. Вы живете здесь сейчас? Ты плохой парень?" _I live here in the castle. Do you live here now? Are you a bad guy?_ "Ты не похож плохой парень, вы посмотрите грустно." _You don't look like a bad guy, you look sad._

"Пожалуйста вы должны покинуть, прежде чем они вернутся. Прежде чем я забыл, кто я снова." He begged, he was so afraid for me. He didn't understand what I was doing there, or why I lived there. He was afraid they were going to take his mind again and make him kill me; the thought tore his heart. _Please, you need to leave before they come back. Before I forget who I am again._

He growled and pulled me out of his mind, he was pissed. "Did you find what you were looking for?" He asked before he shoved me onto the ground. "I have enough people probing my mind without you trying to find old memories."

I hit the ground with a hard thud, landing on my butt, my head spun. "I might be able to help you!" I yelled at him, "I might be able to find your lost memories and surface them. Don't you want to know who you are? Or do you want to be a weapon forever?"

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a syringe, he pulled the case off of the needle and moved over me. "Я всегда будет оружие." _I will always be a weapon._

I tried to move back away from him, scooting my butt against the cold cement below me as I shook my head. I didn't want to go back, if only I could find something better. A better memory that was hidden away, but he had blocked his mind from me. His animal nature taking over.

He reached down and grabbed my throat with his metal hand, pulling me towards him. I gasped for air, his fingers digging in, leaving deep marks across my flesh. His other hand slammed the needle into the back of my neck, he pressed the end of the syringe and an icy cold liquid trickled into my bloodstream.

My vision blurred, my fingertips and toes went numb. What did he give me? It was harder and harder to breath, his hand still attached to my throat. I laughed, somehow I managed to a laugh before darkness greeted me and I felt his hand remove itself from my throat.

 _My friends know you're here now, you need to make a decision._

"What do your friends want with me?" I asked the darkness, still shaking. I didn't understand what was going on, I wanted to go back to my room where it was warm and play with my toys.

 _They want to possess you, to turn you into a vessel. I don't want to do that, I just want to get out of here._ The voice said, I still couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman. _I will enter your body and we can leave together. I will be very weak when we get to your world, I may have to stay with you a while. I will amplify your power._

"What power?" I asked, I had heard the agents talking about how my powers were developing, but I didn't know what any of that meant.

 _Your power brought you here, you created a portal and came into Hell. I can help you control where you go. I can sense you heal very quickly for a human, but with me. We would never be able to die._

A warm air hit my face, a pitch black smoke-like shadow surrounded the area before me.

"Okay," I whispered, "If it means I can go home, I'll let you stay in my body with me. But only for a little bit. With a few conditions."

 _Of course little girl, what are your terms of condition?_

"You can't force me to kill anyone, and you have to help me survive anything I may have to go through," I said, glad at least I wasn't an intelligent child most of the time. I didn't fully understand powers or what a demon was, but I knew I had to do something. "What's your name?"

 _I agree to these terms, I will only aid you in killing someone if you wish to. And if your body completely dies while I am within it, I will die as well. I will help your body form back together until I have no strength._ The voice said, eagerly before a laugh tickled the inside of my ears, _My name? No one asks me my name._

"Tell me your name or I'll see if one of your friends want to help me!" I said, pushing myself up off the ground. A stern pouty expression on my face as my eyes searched the darkness.

The invisible being laughed again, it was a tormented sound. _My name is Aamon._

I nodded slowly, "Very well then, Aamon," I said, and reached my hand towards the shadowy smoke in front of me, "I want to go home now. It's almost snack time."

The smoke circled around my finger tips and danced up along my arm, it brushed against my cheek before it slipped into my mouth. I gasped, as it slid down my throat. My eyes rolled back into my head as I felt the pressure under my skin before it settled against the back of my skull.

 _Create a new portal, we have to leave now._

"I don't even know how!" I cried and pressed my finger tips against my temples, my head felt like it was going to explode, I couldn't concentrate.

 _Reach your arm out, I will help you child._

I did as Aamon told me, I lifted my right hand and spread my fingers, my breath was rigid.

 _Focus on where you want to go, focus on your room. Picture it in your head._

A picture of my room formed into my mind, the blue walls and soft white carpet. My comfy bed with its purple blankets, all of my favorite toys scattered across the floor from where I had been playing with them before I had fallen into the darkness of Hell.

My breath caught and I held it within my chest, the shadow smoke appeared around me and I stepped forward. My body moving on its own, as if it knew what it was doing even though I had no idea how to teleport.

As I stepped forward, warm air hit my face. Something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye, I looked down to where a chunk of my light-blonde hair had fallen over my shoulder, darkness had creeped from the tips. The darkness was staining my blonde waves, causing them to turn black.

"W-what?" I squeaked and jumped back, the air vanished from around me and the smoke faded away. I grabbed my hair, trying to rub the black off of it. "What is this?" I panicked.

 _Stop! We don't have time for this, they are getting closer. You need to focus or we are both going to die before we can get out of here!_

My breath was heavy, my chest quickly moving, I heard my heart pounding in my ears. I gulped before I put my hand back out, I didn't know what was going on and I was so scared.

I forced myself to focus, I slammed my eyes closed and conjured the image of my room again. I held onto it with my mind for dear life, warmth reached out and touched my face.

 _Open your eyes now child._

I did as I was told, I opened my eyes and looked around. I blinked and ran to my bed. I was back in my room! "How did I do that?" I plopped onto my big warm bed and curled up on my blankets, reaching for my silver stuffed bear.

 _You are very powerful, even with as young as you are._ Aamon whispered into my head, his voice sounded further away than it had been. _It is taking a lot of energy for me to be here, I need to rest. I will come when you call, but until then. I will stay in the shadow of your mind._

I nodded slowly, I was rather tired as well. I felt like my life had been sucked out of me, I pulled my bear against my chest and ran my fingers across its soft fluff, "Sorry I worried you Piotr." I whispered and kissed it's forehead. Its fake blue eyes stared at me and I closed my own, starting to drift into sleep.

 _One last thing child. You can never tell anyone about what happened today, and you can never tell anyone my name, if you do. I will have to return home._

"I promise to keep this a secret, Aamon." I said with a sleepy voice as I yawned half-way between the demon's name. He fell silent after that, and I fell asleep only to quickly woken up by the sounds of screaming.

When I woke up, it was dark and cold. I could feel the cold stone beneath the side of my face, my right arm was back intact, having healed itself while I was out. I peered into the darkness around me, as my eyes adjusted to the light I could make out that I was in my dungeon of a room back at HYDRA headquarters.

Someone had been polite enough to remove Selma and Grace's bodies, the room stunk of bleach and was still slightly damp. The bleach left light spot stains across my black clothes.

The smell of bleach couldn't cover up the smell of death though, I could still smell it as if it was engraved into the walls and the floor of the small room. It caught in my throat and I slammed my fist into the floor. They had asked me to do it, but what if it had all been a trap? HYDRA could have brainwashed them into wanting to die, into telling me to run away.

I pushed myself up off the floor and made my way across the room, I ran my hand across the wall until my fingers landed on the light switch. I flipped the switch up and the dim lights flicked on, lighting up the room.

"Well, looks like I'm back again." I said, I walked across the room and bent down beside the cot that was my bed. I pushed the thin blanket that hung over it to the side before I reached my right arm under it and felt around.

My fingers met with the soft fabric I was looking for and I pulled my old stuffed bear out from under the bed. I brushed dust off of him and turned so I was sitting on my butt, leaning my back against the cot. I held the bear against my chest and closed my eyes.

I just wanted to feel something before I was never able to feel again; I was certain they were going to take everything from me. My thoughts, my imagination, all of my memories. I could do without the horrible memories of things they had forced me to go through; but there were still a few I wanted to hold onto.

"Aamon, are you there?" I whispered, burying my face into Piotr's fur.

 _It's been a long time since you called for me, I was starting to think you forgot I was here._

"I didn't forget about you," I laughed, rolling my eyes, "I just haven't needed you since I woke up again. I thought you had left when they put me in cryo for forty years."

 _I was trapped there in the darkness with you, just as powerless against the technology as you were._ The demon said into my head, _Do you really think they will take your free will?_

"Of course I do," I said, my fingers running through Piotr's old fur, he had a hole in his back where stuffing was falling out and missing one of his blue eyes. "They can only give me so many chances before they turn me into the Winter Soldier."

 _I see now. This is why you haven't been calling for me, you have been letting our powers natural work together to heal yourself so I can keep most of my strength._

"Exactly, I figured I would need your strength if it ever came down to this."

 _I can fight against mind control well enough, I should be able to protect you from that. However, if they are smart and they take your-"_

I cut him off quickly, "I know, if they take that then you will be forced to take over my body to keep it from decomposing." I said, we had already gone through our plan of attack ten years ago right before I was placed into a cryo chamber. I never did get an explanation as to why they had put me under ice, but I had came out even more powerful and it had halted my aging process. I hadn't aged since they put me in the tube.

 _It's a good thing we both know our part in this plan. I hope for the sake of your body that it does not come down to that. In the end, yes, I have been helping you for nearly thirty years, but I am a demon. I have only not been able to take over your body because your mind is so strong._ He said, almost sounding sad at the thought he may have to destroy my mind to keep my body going. _It will be very hard for you to take back over if it comes down to that child._

My eyes flicked closed and I held Piotr closer to me, "I know that," I said, "I guess if it comes down to that, I'll just have to kill you or you'll have to kill me."

 _Let's both keep hoping it won't come down to that then._

A sigh escaped my lips, "I might have to go away for a little while, Piotr," I told the bear, it was the only thing I had left of my father. I had had it with me when I was brought to HYDRA headquarters as a baby. "Just keep under the bed and you should be fine."

Footsteps rustled down the hallway and thoughts bombarded me, I quickly shoved the silver bear back under the bed, pressing him against the wall as far back as I could. I got up off the floor and wiped dust from my clothes before I walked towards the door.

I shifted into a fighting stance, I wasn't going to go quietly.

The door of my room slid open, and those damned blue eyes stared at me. His eyebrows furrowed together as he watched me, a black mask covered half his face but I knew it was him; there was no way I could ever forget his eyes.

"Вы не узнали ваш урок?" He growled mockingly, _you didn't learn your lesson?_

"Well you see, I'm not half dead this time. So now, I'm going to kick your ass." I snapped, cracking my knuckles by popping them with my thumbs on each hand.

A laugh escaped the man, it sounded more like he was choking than laughing but I had a feeling it was a laugh. "Это было бы слишком забавно," he said, shaking his head at me, his wavy hair bouncing against his face, "Я хотел бы видеть вас попробовать." _That would be too amusing. I would like to see you try._

"Не угрожайте мне с хорошим временем, солдат. Вы будете удивлены, как легко было бы для меня." I was all talk, but he already knew that. I didn't have to be able to see his mouth to know he was grinning. _Don't threaten me with a good time, soldier. You would be surprised how easy it would be for me._

"Ударь меня с вашим лучшим выстрел, маленькая девочка." _Hit me with your best shot, little girl._

"Сукин сын!" I lunged at him, my fist aiming for his face. _Son of a bitch._

Faster than I had lunged at him, the soldier reached out and grabbed my wrist with his left hand. The sickening sound of it snapping turned my stomach slightly, but I was getting used to such noises. He used his foot and swept my feet out from under me, I landed hard on my knees as he held onto my broken wrist, tightening the grip. "Смотрите, что вы называете мою мать, шлюха." He growled, his face closing in on mine. His forehead was just centimeters away, if it weren't for his mask; I would have been able to feel his warm breath against my face. _Watch what you call my mother, whore._

I blinked. Never in my days had I ever been called a whore, a virgin couldn't even be a whore. I slammed my forehead into his as hard as I could, closing the space between us. My head spun for a moment, he had a hard head, but the impact caused him to stagger back and quickly straighten up. He hadn't been expecting that.

He squeezed my broken bone, causing a few more to snap along with it. My lunate, scaphoid and triquetrum were definitely broken. He used his other hand to slam it against the side of my temple, causing me to see stars once more.

With my free hand, I reached up and slammed my fist into his crotch.

His blue eyes stared down at me in amusement as one of his brown eye brows rose slightly, my knuckles were met with solid plastic. Of course, I should have known he would be wearing a cup to guard his sensitive area, the rest of him was pretty well protected. Once again, his fleshy knuckles met the side of my face, this time my cheek bone.

My zygomatic cracked beneath the blow, my teeth digging deep into my tongue, he was as strong as he looked after all. I held back a groan and spit blood onto the floor as my tongue filled my mouth with the copper taste.

"Вы голову еще достаточно, шлюха?" He mocked, he was enjoying this. _Have you had enough yet, whore?_

"Пошел на хуй, ты сукин сын. Я могу сделать это в течение всего дня." _Fuck you, you son of a bitch. I can do this all day._

Something in his eyes changed at the last part of my sentence and he dropped my broken wrist, he took a step back away from me. He looked at me as if he was really seeing me for the first time, as if he didn't know what to do with me or how he felt. His thoughts were as jumbled and confused as the expression on his face, he had heard that phrase before but couldn't remember where he had heard it, but it had been from someone he cared about.

I used this as an attack of opportunity, I was off the floor in seconds and my good hand collided with the side of his face as hard as I could punch him. His mask flew across the floor, hitting the wall on the other side of the small room before it fell to floor with a soft clank. I punched again, not giving him anytime to register the first attack; my fist slammed into the side of his face and forced itself against his nose. There was no crack, no broken bones or cartilage, but blood trickled from his nostrils.

He rose his flesh-hand to his face, wiping the blood from his skin onto his hand. He looked at the red liquid before an animalistic sound left his throat; if he had been pissed for he brought me back to the base, he was even more pissed now.

Life, what a meaningless waste of the chemicals and molecules needed to create a human life.  
What is the point of living when you will never have control over your own being? When you are born to be damned, to be used as a weapon until you are completely useless. When you can't even decide when you are useless, because your body has a mind of its own that you can't control; even when you are done, it continues on.  
The buzzing in your ears, the blood drying where your once missing arm had had enough time to grow along back into place. Even though you are done.

I suppose that was just my fate, one of my parents must have pissed off the wrong God right before they met. Or perhaps, the gods were trying to punish the world and failed.

"Is she awake?"

Of course I was, laying completely still in the ice cold freezer that they called my room. A thin blanket protecting my body from the stone floor.

"I don't believe she can even sleep."

"Girl!"

I debated on laying there longer, focus on the tingling in my left elbow where my body was readjusting to the rest of my arm growing back. However, I'm not an idiot.

Slowly, I lifted my right arm to verify that I was indeed awake and listening. Not that I had the choice, I already knew what they were there for. I knew before they had even gotten into the elevator to come to my dungeon.

"Very good," the Russian said, I could remember the smell of his breath from when he removed my arm from my elbow. "We have job for you, girl."

"And why would I do anything you want?" I asked, my voice was venom.

"We don't want any trouble," the second voice said, "This may be the last job we have for you, and then we might let you go."

I laughed, my small voice filling the room, echoing against the walls. "We all know that will never happen," I replied, "I'm too valuable for your boss to let go."

The Russian snorted, "She is right, we all know what she means to this operation. It is bad enough the Solider got away."

I opened one eye at this and looked to them, trying to hide my surprise at this information. If it was anyone but them, I would almost admire how hard they fought to keep that information from leaking out to me.

"The Winter Solider is gone?"

The American gulped, and his pulse quickened, "He had some help getting away from us, don't get any ideas." He said.

If the Winter Solider could get away, perhaps there was a chance at me escaping at last.

I had met the man, one a few occasions. I watched them torture him, and he watched me be tortured by them. We never spoke, not even when we had missions together. We were weapons, we both knew we didn't have a chance.

He was a handsome man from what I remembered of him, tall, with beautiful blue eyes.

"Do you want me to go and find him? Is that my mission?" I asked, I knew I couldn't actually capture the Winter Soldier. His skill was far above my own.

The Russian laughed, I was really starting to hate the sound of it. His laugh sounded so rotten, like an apple that had been infested by worms. "No, that would be your end. We need you for something better."

"That is a conversation for a different time," the American piped in, "You already know too much."

"I know everything." I stated and pointed to my head, I could hear their thoughts; I could hear them pondering what to say next while they attempted to hide the important information from me.

The Russian laughed once more before he lifted his hand and pressed the outer wall, the control panel slid the doors of my room closed and once again left me staring into the dark.

Damn HYDRA, damn Professor X for not taking me in, damn the God's for not protecting me.

I was born into this world just like every normal human girl. I was just born with abilities that my father wasn't expecting to have to deal with, my mother hadn't warned him of her true nature and died shortly after I was born.

I shouldn't hate him too much, when HYDRA came to his doorstep offering him money to take his possessed four year old and taking the money. HYDRA was still in the dark back then, everyone had thought they disappeared when Captain America crashed into the ocean.

He was a young single father with no family, and money left behind to him after his parents were murdered.

He wasn't expecting his child to be strange, and I hoped that he didn't know HYDRA had planned on turning me into a weapon.

I still hated him though, I knew nothing about him besides a name and what the HYDRA soldiers thought of him.

Knowing his name would never get me anywhere, the dark whispered these thoughts to me. I didn't even know who I was, let alone how to find him. I would never dare to ask anyone around me anyway, they didn't even know that I knew anything about the subject.

I laughed into the darkness, mostly at myself, but at them as well. Trapped within my thoughts, and most of theirs. The walls could only protect their minds so much, and the darkness just seemed to make me stronger.

Could I escape? I had before of course, I haven't been trapped in this room for sixteen years straight. They always found me though, the chip pressed into my spinal cord helped with that.

I pressed my new left fingertips against the back of my neck, sliding them along the nape of my neck and to the spot where the chip was lodged. I could feel it there, not physically, but my mind knew it was there. My mind always knew when something wasn't supposed to be somewhere.

How did the Winter Soldier escape? The last I had heard about the man, he was sent on a mission to destroy Captain America. I was surprised, but at the same time I wasn't. I could always sense the goodness that was trapped deep within his mind, past were years of torture and brainwash still couldn't touch the purity of his mind. He didn't even know who he was most of the time.

"I'm glad one of us got out."

One of us deserved to escape this place, even if it was him and not me. If that had been his plan, I wished I would have known so I could have left when he did.

" _The Winter Soldier is gone, we need her to do this, boss's orders."_

The thoughts of another pulsed through my brain, I knew his voice. The rest of his thoughts to follow made him easy to recognize as well, he was like their leaders lap dog. I didn't know his real name, actually, I didn't know anyone's real name.

" _I know it's dangerous, but it's not like she really remembers where she came from. We did a good job with that."_

The thoughts stopped outside the room door before there was a click and the door sprung open. Light streaked in and attacked my green eyes.

"Get up," he said, "We need to get you ready for your next mission."

"And if I refuse?" I asked, raising a hand to block the light from my eyes.

"You still act as if you have a choice," he laughed. "You don't."

" _This poor pathetic being."_

He looked at me as if I was damaged goods, he wasn't as good as the others at hiding his thoughts from me. That or he just didn't care.

" _She knows she has no free will, she's just fucking with you."_

"I'm not fucking with you, I'm just hopeful still that one of you might have a change of heart," I said, breaking his thoughts, "I'd like to hope that I'll be out of here some day, maybe one of you doesn't want to be a bad guy forever."

"We aren't the bad guys," he said, and he truly believed that, "Now get up."

I pushed myself up off the floor, my legs wobbled below me. I couldn't remember the last time I stood up. Had it been a week? I couldn't remember the last time I ate either, or bathed for that matter.

"We're going to get you cleaned up before you see the boss."

Two women walked down the hallway and stepped into my room, they were the usual girls who showed up when I needed cleaned up. Their eyes were missing from their eye sockets and their lips were roughly tied closed with a thick metal wire.

I remembered the first time I saw them, " _If you don't want to be a bad guy, then you would never harm two defenseless blind girls."_ The lap dog had snickered at me.

I had been so horrified that they did something so horrible to two innocent women just to keep me trapped in here.

The two women walked slowly into my room until they each found one of my arms, how long had it been? Ten years? They had gotten a lot better at walking around on their own, they hated their lives. Their thoughts so miserable and full of thoughts of suicide. I felt their pain deep within what was left of my soul.

My door flicked closed, "I'll be back in twenty minutes." The man said as it closed between us.

The shorter of the women dragged me into the small bathroom, it was mostly a toilet and a shower head with no space in between them. It barely counted as a bathroom of any sort, but it was all I had ever had.

The taller woman turned the shower head and checked the temperature with her hand, the other woman pushed me under the water. I realized at that moment, I had been naked for days.

Even blind, the women did a good job getting me cleaned up. Scrubbing dirty and dried blood from my skin and hair, the whole time they thought about how awful I smelled.

"Sorry." I muttered a meaningless apology.

" _It's not your fault honey,"_ the taller one thought, " _We can hear your screams throughout this hellhole."_

My eyes shifted to the floor, I could hear their cries throughout the nights as well. The shorter woman never spoke to me, but the taller one always did. At least one of them didn't resent me for what HYDRA did to them.

" _Don't pity us, our lives before this wasn't much better. At least we get fed here, our rooms are a lot nicer."_

Her thoughts told me a story.

The two women were standing in the pouring rain, wearing barely any clothes as they scratched their arms.

"$300 for a good time!" The shorter one said, propping herself against a man in a suit, "We'll do anything your wife won't."

I could see him through the taller woman's eyes, taste the desperation for drugs on her tongue.

The man, was the lap dog, ten years younger. "I'm not looking for whores, I'm looking for people who follow the same beliefs as my master," he said to them, "My employer is looking for women to help him take care of his newly adopted daughter."

"I don't think we're qualified for a job like that." The taller one said, suspicion in her mind.

"Of course we are," the other woman piped in, "How much?"

"My employer wants care at all times throughout the night," he said, "He's offering shelter, food, and a place where two junkies can get clean. There will be no drugs around the child."

"We'll do it."

"Now wait," the tall woman said, "Selma, this seems a little too good to be true, we need to think about this."

"How many scumbags are going to offer us this? We can barely get $300 to take us both at the same time." Selma said, rolling her eyes.

The lap dog smiled, "Selma is a smart woman, I'd listen to your friend," he said, "You can come to my car and look over the contract. If you're not pleased, you can get out and continue your night."

" _I'm sorry, did you get trapped in that?"_ Her words shook me from her thoughts.

"I did, I apologize, I didn't mean to invade your thoughts." I said, as the shorter woman turned the water off and handed me a towel.

" _It's not your fault, I was just showing you that we came on our own. We didn't read the contract. Selma has always been reckless like that, and I was too high,"_ she led me out of the bathroom, " _If we had read it, the contract stated that this would happen to us. They couldn't have anyone with a solid mind running off to tell the world about you."_

I dried my skin off with the sandpaper like towel before I threw my hair up in it, water speckled across my scarred skin. I walked across the cold floor, the feeling against my warm feet caused me to shiver.

"Do they still feed you?" I asked.

" _They do, they kept all their promises. I guess they're afraid of being sued."_ She laughed, the sound escaping through her throat. It sounded like she was being strangled.

I shuddered as I pulled clothes out of my closet, black pants, a bra and a black sweatshirt. I put socks on my bare feet before I pulled on my black combat boots. They were still stained from the last time the Russian cut my legs off.

" _I just wanted you to understand, it's not your fault we are here. I have something for you."_

I turned to her and she pressed a skeleton key into the palm of my hand, she closed my fingers around it and held onto my hand for a few moments.

" _Our lives are over, but yours doesn't have to be."_

"They'll kill you."

" _We want to die,"_ Selma said, she dreamed to cry but her tear ducts were long gone. " _We want you to do it."_

" _Please, just get out of here."_ The taller one said.

I gulped, I had killed people before of course. Killing was what I was good at, I tried to tell myself there was still hope for me. I didn't have to kill everyone I met.

"What's your name? Do you guys have any family I should alert when I get out?"

" _Grace Greensboro, and Selma Strait,"_ the tall woman released my hands, " _We don't have anyone."_

Selma reached out through the darkness and locked her hands with Grace's. " _Please, we're ready."_

Their eye less sockets stared at me, if they had eyes they would be begging me. Just like their thoughts were.

I took a breath, "Thank you both, for taking such good care of me." I shoved the key into my bra.

I reached out both of my arms, I focused on the palms of my hands. They tingled and black smoke surrounded them, I plugged each hand into one of the women's chests and pulled their hearts out.

They dropped to the floor, laying side by side as I dropped their hearts beside them.

I wiped their blood onto their dresses before I walked up to the doors they were locked from the other side.

I wished taking their lives phased me, but I didn't feel anything for them. The pity I had once felt was now gone, I was envious of them. They died so easily; as humans do.

But I'm not human.

The doors clicked opened and I lunged at the Russian, a surprised sound left his chest as I pounced on him. I shoved my right hand deep within his chest and ripped his heart out.

I tossed it to the side and grabbed his gun from his belt. Guns were almost useless to me, but I felt like it would be difficult to get too up close and personal with anyone else.

I shoved the gun into the hem of my pants before I ran down the hallway, there were three men coming down the elevator to the North. I could avoid them and hit the hallway on the South end of the hallway.

That would be the easy part. I had gotten this far when I was eight years old, the first time I had tried to escape.

I wiped my hands across the wall, pressing any buttons I could find on the flat surface beside the elevator doors. "Shit." I should have grabbed the Russian's badge.

" _What the fuck?"_

" _Everett, where is the girl?"_

" _Oh shit."_

The two men on the other end of the hallway had found the Russian, one of them threw up. Poor new guy, it was his first day on the job.

If he couldn't deal with that, then he wasn't cut out to work for such a terrible organization, that was damn sure.

I punched the wall, where were the buttons? Normally they would just appear when a hand got close enough to them.

A loud siren echoed through the speakers along the walls, "Red alert. Red alert." A monotone robotic voice called out.

Shit.

I kicked the elevator doors before I darted down the east side of the hallway, there had to be a room somewhere with a window. Or stairs. I would take stairs if I had no other option.

Stairs were what I found, I darted up them. Half-starving, I could still manage to run almost my full speed. Foot steps rang out from the hallway behind me, thoughts cursing me for ruining such a quiet night.

Fuck them. I found a door to my left and ran through it, I tripped over a broom in the process and landed hard on the cold floor.

I groaned and shoved myself up, I didn't have time for this shit. I found the light switch on the wall and fluorescent lights flickered through out the room.

" _She's heading towards the storage room. If I can get to her, then no one will think I'm weak for throwing up."_ The new hires thoughts slipped into my own.

Moving quickly, I closed the door behind me and flipped the latch shut before I propped the broom up to help hold the door closed. I had never been in this room before, I had once knew every spot of this dungeon. I suppose electric shock therapy would give someone's memories a helluva time.

The room was small, barely the size of the small cell that I stayed in. Shelves filled the space and made it seem even smaller, the wooden shelves were covered in boxes full of old papers.

"What is this?" I pulled a stack of papers off of one of the shelves and flipped my fingers through the dusty paperwork.

Most of the papers looked like advanced mathematics, something I could never wrap my mind around to understand very well.

I walked in between the shelves, I had a gun. I didn't know how many bullets were in it, but I knew there were no where near enough to get me out of there. Not in one piece at least.

My breath caught in my throat as I picked up the heart beat of the man following me, he was just a few steps away from the door. His thoughts had gotten louder, more desperate.

" _That bitch. I'll show her. She made me look like an idiot. I-I just wasn't expecting that! They said she was a demon, but to. To rip someone's heart out? Where the fuck did she go? I should have gone on that tour instead of being so eager to take the HYDRA badge."_

Stupid twat, he really believed HYDRA was a good place to work? I chuckled quietly to myself and turned right when the shelves came to an abrupt stop.

My sweet salvation stood before me, the moonlight beaming through the tints of the small window. It must have been my lucky day.

I strolled up to the window and pushed it open, thankfully with no trouble. I wasn't in the mood to have to break the damn thing.

" _What was that?"_

A bead of sweat dripped down my forehead, the door of the room started to wiggle.

" _Why is this door locked?"_

The wind from outside tickled my thick black hair across my face, the feeling caused me to gasp in surprise. It had been so long since I had felt the night air, or any air in general. How long had I been trapped in this dungeon? Weeks? Months? Perhaps even over a year or so.

I didn't even know what day it was, what year it was. Nothing. But I couldn't focus on that, I had to focus on leaving.

I pressed my green eyes closed. All I had to do was focus on anywhere in the world, not that I knew much about it. Just old books the women… Selma and Grace, had brought to me as a child.

Cold water, rain, dripped from the sky. The clouds were dark and the air crisp, it was on the edge of the United States. Close to Canada, but not too close. I couldn't pass the boarder very easily without a passport, it was bad enough I didn't even have any identification for the US.

When I opened my eyes again, black smoke was fading away from my skin and I was standing in the middle of a forest with thick trees all around me.

A deer had stopped to watch me appear before it went back to eating the green grass below its hooves.

I turned my head, the room that had once been behind me was long gone. I could finally breathe.

The air felt so fresh, no tang of dust or copper. Trees, flowers and the rain were the only things I could smell. I felt at peace, just for a few minutes. I wasn't quite out of the clear yet.

I made my way through the trees, allowing the roots to guide my way through the unfamiliar forest. If I had ended up where I wanted to be, I was somewhere near Spokane, Washington. My aim was rarely off, I knew I was at least in one of the Western States that was near Canada.

If I thought hard enough about anything and wasn't in a closed space, I could go wherever I wanted. My mind was strong enough to take me there.

My eyes darted throughout the woods, and I managed to quite literally stumble into a small cave. It was dry, and looked to be empty. I pressed my back against the back of the cave.

I had one last thing to take care of. I moved my right hand to the back of my neck and pressed my fingers against the spot where the chip was implanted deep within my flesh.

"This damn thing has to go."

I pressed my fingers deeper against my skin, the faded gray rings around my fingers glew black and filled the cave with dark light. I could hear animals scurry away from my hiding place, the magic too evil for them to with stand.

Taking deep breathes, the rings on my fingers grew into a line, which grew up my digits and into a sharp point. I dug the sharp points into the nape of my neck, cutting into my flesh. I clenched my teeth, growling to myself at the pain.

"Push through it."

I forced myself to continue, it was a different kind of pain. I could have my limbs removed, my organs cut from my flesh while being wide awake; but the pain from my own magic was unbearable.

I tore a chunk of my flesh from my neck, my fingers sticky with hot blood which quickly soaked into my sweater and down my spine. Another chunk followed, I set myself on autopilot and ripped at my skin until I met the feeling of cold metal. My left arm twitched as I lost feeling in it, followed by my right leg. I forced my right arm to continue its mission, even as it tingled.

My fingers wrapped around the chip and I pulled it from my flesh before I slammed my hand down and crushed it. The chip sizzled,the faint lights that had light it up dyed out. It was just useless scraps now.

Blood leaked everywhere, my back was coated in the sticky liquid, and the world outside the cave stunk with the smell of it. I knew no wild creatures would dare come too close to the feeling my dark magic had left into the air.

My head dipped down, my chin pressing against my chest, resting between my collar bones. My right arm went numb, I couldn't move any of my body but my eyes. It was getting harder to control them though, my eye lids felt so heavy.

I fought the dizziness as long as I could, before the world of blood loss drug me into a bittersweet darkness.

Days went by, I was sure of that much. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears, a soft groan escaped my pale lips. My fingers on each hand twitched, followed by my toes. Everything seemed to be working thus far.

The air was cold, it must have been around sunrise, the trees ached as the wind bristled through them.

Slowly, I opened my eyes. The sun was just starting to creep through the spaces in the trees on the opposite side of the cave.

Good, no one had stumbled upon me. Otherwise I would have probably ended up in a hospital and then straight back to HYDRA. I'd rather truly die then go back to that dungeon.

I reached my right hand up and brushed my fingers against the back of my neck. I couldn't feel a scar, it had been a clean enough heal. The back of my sweat shirt was stiff, I was going to have to try to figure out how to find different clothes.

My sweat shirt was covered in dry blood, the air around me smelled of it as well, and there was probably dried blood all around the back of my neck and tangled in my dark hair.

The chip still laid on the dirt beside of me, a light trail of dust had settled against it; it was still crushed to pieces and the lights were still off. Thank goodness, I hadn't been dreaming. I really did escape; but how long would it last me this time? The last time I had ran off, I had only really been gone for a couple of days. If that. They were always quick to get me back, and I knew this time I had to fight on harder than ever.

Each time they found me after I escaped, the punishment became worse and worse. My hand reached to my neck and I rubbed my right thumb against the pitch-black line that wrapped around my throat like some bullshit Tribal tattoo. The last time they had cut my head off, oh God, that had hurt so bad. That had been the worst experience of my life, my eyes still worked for several hours; I could still hear everything, my brain was functioning as if still connected to my pitiful body, I could still feel my hair tickling my face but there was nothing else I could do. Blinking was it, I didn't even attempt to speak the entire time.

I had laid there for hours until my brain finally went dead. There was darkness for days, I had seen the video. After four days of nothing, they had finally had the idea to move my head closer to my body - nearly two feet away, but that was close enough. My head reattached itself; I had watched it happen, but I still couldn't wrap my mind around what I had seen. I couldn't imagine what they would have in store for me if they caught me again.

"You can't think about that right now, idiot." I reminded myself, if I started thinking about failure already, then continuing onward was pointless.

If I was going to mentally give up before I started, then I should just go back before I was gone too much longer. It was unlikely, but still possible that they believed I was somewhere hiding in the dungeon.

I pushed myself up off the ground, my knees groaned beneath my weight, irritated from being still for so long.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." I muttered to myself, I ran my fingers through my hair attempting to destroy any tangles that had settled there from the wind of the small damp cave.

Being fully aware of how awful I looked, I stepped out from the cave's shelter. The rain had ceased, a slight breeze brought the smell of flowers to my nostrils, what an interesting smell. The sun was over top of the trees now, light sparkling through the limbs of the old oaks. I reached out a hand into a spot of sun and felt the warmth of the light against the back of it. I was almost startled by how truly warm it was against my deathly-pale skin, I stepped further out from the cave and found an opening in the branches.

I stepped into the light, letting the sun settle against my skin. I rolled my sweat shirt sleeves up to my elbows and stretched out my arms along with my fingers. The light brushed against the dark rings under my eyes, I didn't dare to squint as I looked up at the bright ball in the sky.

"How long has it been? Since I felt this much warmth?" I asked myself.

My cheeks felt heated within no time, I wondered how long it would take for a sunburn to set in. I laughed at myself, a sunburn in Seattle? Everyone would no in no time that I didn't really belong there; even though that would be obvious enough as it was once I found other human-beings.

I could always avoid them, but I needed to eat at some point and I was no botanist. I would probably poison myself a million times over, getting no where in the woods if I walked around eating nothing but berries.

The thought of food made my stomach grumble, and I groaned. It had already been over a week since the last time I ate, I had no money, so once I did find somewhere to eat, it wasn't like I was going to be able to do so.

"Shit."

I should have stole more than just the Russian's gun, I could still feel the cold metal pressed in between my hip and my tight jeans. That was another thing I had to worry about, I was pretty certain it was not socially acceptable just to walk around with a gun that had the serial number scrapped off of it. However, I did need to keep some type of weapon around that was more than just my body. I didn't have any strength as it was, I had barely been able to run away the first time, let alone get captured and fight against the soldiers that came to catch me.

"I just hope they don't find the Winter Soldier in the mean time."

That would be far worse than just a foot soldier finding me, even in my weakened state; I could take a foot soldier out on my own, possibly even three or four, but it would take one Winter Soldier coming after me to take me down.

There were so many risks to my plan that I should have thought up before I left, this all could have been some trap that HYDRA had talked Grace and Selma into feeding me. If anything Grace had shown me was even real.

Another groan escaped my lips and I pushed my sleeves back down, I should have grabbed a book bag and filled it with food, clothes and money. That would have gotten me a lot further than just running around an unknown state with nothing but one pair of bloody clothes and a loaded gun; which was possibly not even fully loaded.

"Shit, shit!" I cursed and kicked a nearby tree, the oak creaked at the impact, and a couple of its branches shook as if it was surprised by my uncalled for assault of it.

My curses were carried away by the wind though, and I knew that I had to just keep going. I didn't even know which direction the city was, I cursed one last time before I started my trek through the woods. I would have to run into civilization or a end in of the trees at some point, even if it took me a couple of days to do either or.

I walked for miles, upon miles, when the sun fell out of the sky, I climbed a tree and hooked myself to the thickest branch I could reach with my belt. I would survive the fall, but it would just be another set back, and the weaker I got; the longer it would take for me to heal correctly. I couldn't risk stumbling into the city with a half broken neck or my humerus sticking out of my skin. As amusing as that would be, the look on the faces of the humans I would run into!

It took me two days to find the city, my jeans were covered in mud and dirt. My sweat shirt beat up from bumping into trees and stumbling down a couple of hills. I had at least managed to find a river and dried my skin and clothes of blood, but that had partially caused the mud issue.

If I didn't quite look like a wild animal, then I smelled like one. Two days of walking however, had helped me focus on coming up with a detailed lie if anyone asked me any questions.

My name was unknown to me, which was also the truth, I was out one night after taking a bus from Cleveland, Ohio to Seattle, Washington. On my way to start a new life far away from my abusive ex-boyfriend, Alex, when I was roughly grabbed by three large men. The men shoved me into a dark colored van and drove me into the woods, they beat me and left me in the woods; they took all of my money, they took my identifications. I had purposely slammed a rock into the side of my head, leaving the blood to dry against the side of my face, forcing my body not to heal the wound too quickly. I had no memory of who I was, I could only remember my favorite football team from the state I was raised in, and the man that had forced me away from it. I would go to the police and file a police report, fake tears and tell a very believable story.

That would at least by me sometime, hopefully get me some food and may be someone would feel bad enough for me that they would give me at least a little bit of money. Police were supposed to give people like that shelter, right?

My perspective of them believed that much at least, not that I had ever actually seen a police officer in my life before though. I had only seen pictures in books, I just had to hope the image in the story was at least slightly accurate so I could find one once I got into the city.

The sky was dark and I stumbled through the unfamiliar streets. I pushed my damp hair out of my face as I shivered, the wind tickling my skin. I wasn't sure which way I should head, I could keep going straight until I found someone? That was a decent plan, but then I might really run into some weirdo.

I didn't want to have to kill anyone who was innocent, I had already killed two innocent women. I didn't have it any me at the moment, I was tired and starving.

My feet led me across the streets, I stumbled a little and nearly ended up face first against a light pole.

A car slowed down behind me, "Are you okay?" An older man asked me, his wife looked around him at me. Her eyes wide behind her thick glasses.

"No, please help." I begged, stumbling closer to their older red car.

The man put the car in park and quickly got out, "Martha, call 911. I think she's hurt." He said, he put a wrinkled hand against my right arm to help me stay up right.

"I-I don't know where I am."

"What happened?" He asked me, his wife had made her way over to us. An old flip phone in her hand as she called the police.

"I," I pressed my hand against my head, "I was coming to visit, someone? I can't remember."

The man examined the deep gash in my head, "How did you hit your head?"

"These big men grabbed me when I got off the bus," I said, hoping I was as good as an actress as I thought, "It was really dark and they took me to the woods."

His eye brows furrowed in concern, "Can you tell me your name, sweetie?"

I shook my head, the movement caused more blood to seep down my face, "I can't remember." I cried.

"The police are on their way," the old woman said, her hair was as white as snow and her fragile body was shaking, "They'll be about five minutes."

They were terrified for me, their thoughts in a panic over a stranger. What good people.

That was my lost thought before I hit the ground, I heard the old woman call out just before I blacked out.

Lights flashed as I went in and out of my sleep, I should have realized it sooner. The chip had been set to release poison into my spinal cord if it was ever removed. I could feel the poison at work, it would have killed most people by now; but with my quick healing my body must have been fighting it off the entire time. But, when I slowed my healing process for the cut on my head, I must have slowed the healing process for my whole body. Accidentally letting the poison set in.

"Who is she?" A stranger asked, his rough voice breaking through the darkness that surrounded me.

"She said she can't remember." The older man replied.

"She doesn't have any ID." Rough voice said.

"Thank you for calling us for her." Another man said, he had a country twang.

"Please keep up updated, this is our number." The older woman said, she still sounded so scared for me.

Where was I? My eyes refused to open. I was unable to detect anyone's thoughts, my body too weak to manage the task.

Damn.

I fell back into the darkness of my own mind.

 _Are you lost little girl?_

I shook my head, "No." I lied, I was lost. I didn't know what had happened, one moment I was scared and crying inside my room and then the next moment I had felt like I had fallen through the floor.

 _Do you know where you are?_

"No." I squeaked, my eyes searching the darkness around me.

A light came on about two car lengths away from me, I squinted my eyes at the sudden light as I started stumbling towards it.

My short legs felt like they weighed a million pounds.

 _You're not going to get far on your own._

"Where you? I can hear you in my head but not my ears." I searched the darkness after I placed myself under the light.

 _I'm right here, I can't let you see me unless you agree to help me._

My lips pursed together, "Just because I'm little doesn't mean I'm stupid."

 _Heh. If you're not stupid, have you figured out where you are yet?_

I squinted into the darkness, "Is this a nightmare?"

A bombing laugh echoed throughout my small frame, causing my whole body to shake. I sniffled in fear, I guessed that was the wrong answer.

"I want to go home!" I cried, rubbing tears from my pale face.

 _I can help you go home, but you have to help me. I can't leave unless someone helps me, and you can leave unless me or one of my friends go with you._

I shook my head, "Where am I?" I asked, my voice was so small. The light flickered in and out softly, making it even more difficult to see.

 _Have you heard of Hell? I don't know how you got here little girl, but if this was your plan then you are a stupid child._

Hell? I had heard people speak of it, it was supposed to be a horrible place for bad people who died.

"Am I dead?"

 _No, you're very much alive. For now. If one of my friends find you, you won't be for long._

"She's stable now, we're still not sure what happened office Davidson," A woman's voice meet my ears, "She came in dehydrated, and a fractured skull. We put an IV in her to get fluids into her system, but we can't explain anything else."

"Thank you," Rough voice, officer Davidson said, "The details are meaningless, at least she's stable now."

"One of our nurses have heard of people like her, with weird umm abilities, there is a school for people like her," the nurse said, "We could call them?"

"No," he said quickly, "Just leave this to the police department, lose her charts and don't came back in here."

" _Don't come back in? But this poor girl isn't completely healed. It's bad enough the head of the hospital wants her gone because we don't know how she'll pay for this."_ The woman thought, but she didn't say anything and just hustled out of the room. The door closed behind her with a soft click, followed by a second.

Did the officer lock the door? I didn't know anything about police, but that didn't seem right.

"Вы сделали беспорядок вещей демона," the man said. My heart clenched in my chest. Fucking Russians. "они Арент очень рад с вами." _You have made a mess of things demon, they aren't very happy with you._

"ебать их," I retorted. My body felt like it was floating and my skin felt like it was burning as it worked on releasing the poison. "Я убью тебя." _Fuck them,_ _I'll kill you._

The man laughed at me, it was a dark twisted sound. "You wouldn't get very far in your condition." He said, something cold pressed against my arm before I felt the IV pull out of my vein.

I snapped my eyes open and grabbed his wrist, the space in between his glove and his sleeve. My flesh met thick cold metal.

"Shit." I breathed as my eyes met his icy-blue ones. He was handsome, for a killing machine. His hair fell to his shoulders and he was dressed in a cop uniform.

He jerked his arm from my grip with ease, "Ты знаешь кто я?" He asked, taking the chest monitors off of me. _Do you know who I am?_

"Ты Зимний Солдат." I don't know how I managed to speak, my breath felt trapped deep in my throat. I watched my heart rate spike right before he removed the heart monitor from my left middle finger. _You're the Winter Soldier._

He growled, his blue eyes narrowing at me. "They told me you were stupid, I'm glad to see that was false."

That was a lie, he couldn't feel anything. HYDRA wanted me to be just like him, emotionless and cold. A robot that didn't have any of their own thoughts.

I gulped and weighed my options. I was in a hospital gown, and had no weapons. He was dressed as a cop and had at least one gun on his hip that I could see, and of course. A metal arm.

The large man reached to the floor and picked up a pull string backpack, he tossed it onto my lap. "Clothes, put them on fast." He growled.

"What if we don't go back?" I asked him, moving the hospital blanket off my small frame. "What if we just left?"

His eyes narrowed, "как же это получилось для вас?" _How did that turn out for you?_

"Они сказали мне, что ты ушел, что они потеряли тебя, солдат," I replied, getting out of the hospital bed. The gown fell against my skin, it was cold outside of the bed. "Я не думаю, что я должен был беспокоиться о ты идешь, чтобы получить меня." _They told me that you were gone, they had lost you, Soldier. I didn't think I had to worry about you coming to get me._

The Winter Soldier snorted, crossing his arms, "Put the clothes on."

I sighed, of course I knew my words would fall to deaf ears. He didn't even know who he was, the only reason he didn't kill me was because he was ordered to bring me back in one piece.

"Can you turn around?" I asked, I wasn't modest, I had been naked around many people by that point. He was different though, the way he stared at me made me shiver.

His cold blue eyes stared blankly at me, as if he hadn't even heard my request.

A sigh escaped my lips and I untied the hospital gown before I let it drop to my feet. At least someone had decided to let me keep underwear on, covering my vagina. My breasts bare as he stared at me, his eyes ran across my skin. His thoughts letting me know that there was at least a man somewhere trapped deep within him.

I turned my back to him and opened the backpack, I pulled out a black bra and put it on before I pulled a black tee shirt over my head, followed by a pair of jeans I wiggled up my butt. The clothes away fit, the agents of HYDRA had learned my sizes perfectly.

Movement behind me caused me to bump and I spun on my heels back around to face him just as he tossed my boots onto the bed. My heart was pounding, if he could hear it, his thoughts didn't give it away.

I pulled my boots onto my feet one at a time before I zipped up the backs. I turned back away from him and pulled the last item from the backpack, a red zip up hoodie. I pulled it on and zipped it up halfway to my chest.

"Time to go." His rough voice said.

"You need to work on your people skills," I said and pulled the now empty backpack over my left shoulder, "Or at least act like you have some."

He was silent and grabbed my right arm by my elbow and pulled me towards the door. He unlocked the door with his other hand and then pushed it open.

That was my chance, I had a feeling I wouldn't get another one. A car was probably waiting nearby for him to shove me into, they would probably drug me up enough so that I wouldn't wake up until I was back in my dungeon in the base.

Swiftly, I slammed the weight of my ride side into his body, using the arm he had a grip on as leverage. I snapped my elbow into his ribs, the sudden attack caused him to lose his grip as the other side of his body fell against the door frame.

He grunted before he grabbed my elbow again, his metal hand crushing into my bone until there was a soft sickening snap, the rest of my arm fell limb.

A few nurses stopped in their tracks to stare at us with wide eyes. Their thoughts scrambled as they tried to decide if they should help me or not. They looked at each other before a blonde female nurse shook her head, and hurried along, the other two quickly followed in her footsteps; the way they saw it, they weren't about to get in the way of a police investigation. Honestly, I didn't blame them. I would have kept on walking as well if I saw a large man in a police uniform dragging a girl along who had came to the hospital half-dead that had seemed to magically heal in a short amount of time.

HYDRA had known exactly where I was, I had only been gone for probably about a week. I still wasn't sure how long I had slept in the woods, I assumed a couple of days and then it had taken three to even get to the city. As soon as I had gotten there, he must have known I was there; that's how he was able to get his hands on a police uniform and be there as soon as the older couple had called the police.

I groaned as he shoved me, his grip on my elbow not lightening. He was pissed, I could feel his heavy breathing against my arm just before he shoved me away from him, letting go of my arm. My hand went to my elbow, I held it softly, cradling it against my side. God damn, it hurt.

"Keep walking, if you stop and try anything again. Я убью тебя." He growled, pushing his knee against my butt to shove me forward more. _I will kill you._

As much as I hoped that he had been ordered not to kill me, I believed his threat. There was no doubt in my mind that he would just chop me up and shove me into the backpack I had a hold of; he would take me back and they would leave me in the dark somewhere until my body formed back together.

I walked forward, my ears buzzing at all the sounds around me; all the pain-filled thoughts of people dying in the hospital around me. I didn't want to be a monster, I didn't want to turn into a brainless weapon like the Winter Soldier, I had never wanted any of this.

Each time I slowed my walk, one of his large hands would shove me forward. He was not amused by my actions, he didn't understand me. However, part of him was envious of me. Why did I get to keep my mind when he didn't?

If I could feel bad for a man like him, I would have. But I couldn't bring myself to do it, I had seen his records, I had seen how many people he had killed, the missions he had gone on. It broke my heart knowing how many people HYDRA killed each day, and they got away with it. Captain America was the only person who had ever gone after them, but as far as the public knew he was still only following around Iron Man and the rest of the Avengers. HYDRA kept tabs on them, but felt like he wasn't a threat until they were ready to go after him again.

"What if," I started talking as we walked outside, the cold air hitting my face without mercy. The wind had picked up since the last time I was out in the world, I was going to miss the feeling of the wind and the sun. The sight of the moon. "What if we told someone what they're doing?"

"Мы были бы предателей." _We would be traitors._

"Они являются злом и заслуживают его," I replied in Russian, "Я не хочу, чтобы пойти вниз в историю как монстр, ты?" _They are evil and deserve it. I don't want to go down in history as monster, do you?_

"Я оружие, монстр, и вот как я будет идти в истории независимо от того, что делать." He replied, grabbing my right arm right above my elbow. The bones clenched together softly. _I am a weapon, a monster, and that is how I will go down in history no matter what I do._

I winced, my vision blurring slightly as I stumbled down the sidewalk heading west away from the hospital. "Вот не как она несет быть." _That's not the way it has to be._

He fell silent again, his eyes gave away his pain as he fought a war inside his own mind. He tried to remember how he would have responded, what he would have done if he had never become the Winter Soldier.

"Кто вы были, прежде чем ты стал солдатом?" I asked softly, turning my eyes up to the star filled sky, the moon was full and it's light beamed down on us. _Who were you before you were the soldier?_

"I do not remember, it doesn't matter who I was. It matters who I am now, and that is the Winter Soldier," he replied, done with his silent treatment at least for that moment. "Вы либо очень глупо, или очень смелый. Никто никогда не осмеливается говорить мне." _You are either very stupid, or very brave. No one ever dares to speak to me._

"Obviously I'm a little bit of both. I just like to believe that deep down there is good inside everyone, I can feel it inside you, Soldier. There is a good man trapped under all of the torture they have put you through," I said, my feet coming to a stop at the end of the hospital parking lot, "I know that when you take me back there, they are going to make me just like you. They'll take my will, they'll make me a weapon as well. They have been arguing about it for years now. After they take my mind, I'll never get to fulfill my dream; all I want to do is help save people from them."

My green eyes met his blue ones, he stared down at me an almost soft expression on his face. He knew I was right, they had already probably spoke about it around him when they thought he wouldn't remember. His memory could only remember so much, but he had decided to keep a hold of thoughts of me.

I saw through his mind the memory of the first time I had seen him.

I had been so terrified, sitting in my room; that was when they still allowed me to sleep somewhere nice. I still had toys and snack time, it was before the first time I had escaped when I was four years old.

The man had been screaming for hours, in so much pain. My heart was racing as I ran down the hallway as fast as I could, I just wanted to find him. I just wanted to help him, to let him know I could hear him crying and I didn't want him to cry anymore.

There was a dark room at the end of the hallway, I had stepped inside of it foolishly to find him there.

He was surprised when he saw me, his thoughts told me. He had fell silent, his screams coming to an end when his eyes found a small little girl with long blond hair staring at him. "W-what?" He asked.

I padded across the floor, my bare feet making a light tap against the stone. "Why are you so sad?" I had asked him, looking up at him with big eyes.

 _Why is a little girl here? She shouldn't be here!_ He fought his restraints, "Go, go," he managed to say, "Иди домой маленькая девочка, пожалуйста." _Go home little girl, please._

"Я живу здесь, в замке. Вы живете здесь сейчас? Ты плохой парень?" _I live here in the castle. Do you live here now? Are you a bad guy?_ "Ты не похож плохой парень, вы посмотрите грустно." _You don't look like a bad guy, you look sad._

"Пожалуйста вы должны покинуть, прежде чем они вернутся. Прежде чем я забыл, кто я снова." He begged, he was so afraid for me. He didn't understand what I was doing there, or why I lived there. He was afraid they were going to take his mind again and make him kill me; the thought tore his heart. _Please, you need to leave before they come back. Before I forget who I am again._

He growled and pulled me out of his mind, he was pissed. "Did you find what you were looking for?" He asked before he shoved me onto the ground. "I have enough people probing my mind without you trying to find old memories."

I hit the ground with a hard thud, landing on my butt, my head spun. "I might be able to help you!" I yelled at him, "I might be able to find your lost memories and surface them. Don't you want to know who you are? Or do you want to be a weapon forever?"

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a syringe, he pulled the case off of the needle and moved over me. "Я всегда будет оружие." _I will always be a weapon._

I tried to move back away from him, scooting my butt against the cold cement below me as I shook my head. I didn't want to go back, if only I could find something better. A better memory that was hidden away, but he had blocked his mind from me. His animal nature taking over.

He reached down and grabbed my throat with his metal hand, pulling me towards him. I gasped for air, his fingers digging in, leaving deep marks across my flesh. His other hand slammed the needle into the back of my neck, he pressed the end of the syringe and an icy cold liquid trickled into my bloodstream.

My vision blurred, my fingertips and toes went numb. What did he give me? It was harder and harder to breath, his hand still attached to my throat. I laughed, somehow I managed to a laugh before darkness greeted me and I felt his hand remove itself from my throat.

 _My friends know you're here now, you need to make a decision._

"What do your friends want with me?" I asked the darkness, still shaking. I didn't understand what was going on, I wanted to go back to my room where it was warm and play with my toys.

 _They want to possess you, to turn you into a vessel. I don't want to do that, I just want to get out of here._ The voice said, I still couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman. _I will enter your body and we can leave together. I will be very weak when we get to your world, I may have to stay with you a while. I will amplify your power._

"What power?" I asked, I had heard the agents talking about how my powers were developing, but I didn't know what any of that meant.

 _Your power brought you here, you created a portal and came into Hell. I can help you control where you go. I can sense you heal very quickly for a human, but with me. We would never be able to die._

A warm air hit my face, a pitch black smoke-like shadow surrounded the area before me.

"Okay," I whispered, "If it means I can go home, I'll let you stay in my body with me. But only for a little bit. With a few conditions."

 _Of course little girl, what are your terms of condition?_

"You can't force me to kill anyone, and you have to help me survive anything I may have to go through," I said, glad at least I wasn't an intelligent child most of the time. I didn't fully understand powers or what a demon was, but I knew I had to do something. "What's your name?"

 _I agree to these terms, I will only aid you in killing someone if you wish to. And if your body completely dies while I am within it, I will die as well. I will help your body form back together until I have no strength._ The voice said, eagerly before a laugh tickled the inside of my ears, _My name? No one asks me my name._

"Tell me your name or I'll see if one of your friends want to help me!" I said, pushing myself up off the ground. A stern pouty expression on my face as my eyes searched the darkness.

The invisible being laughed again, it was a tormented sound. _My name is Aamon._

I nodded slowly, "Very well then, Aamon," I said, and reached my hand towards the shadowy smoke in front of me, "I want to go home now. It's almost snack time."

The smoke circled around my finger tips and danced up along my arm, it brushed against my cheek before it slipped into my mouth. I gasped, as it slid down my throat. My eyes rolled back into my head as I felt the pressure under my skin before it settled against the back of my skull.

 _Create a new portal, we have to leave now._

"I don't even know how!" I cried and pressed my finger tips against my temples, my head felt like it was going to explode, I couldn't concentrate.

 _Reach your arm out, I will help you child._

I did as Aamon told me, I lifted my right hand and spread my fingers, my breath was rigid.

 _Focus on where you want to go, focus on your room. Picture it in your head._

A picture of my room formed into my mind, the blue walls and soft white carpet. My comfy bed with its purple blankets, all of my favorite toys scattered across the floor from where I had been playing with them before I had fallen into the darkness of Hell.

My breath caught and I held it within my chest, the shadow smoke appeared around me and I stepped forward. My body moving on its own, as if it knew what it was doing even though I had no idea how to teleport.

As I stepped forward, warm air hit my face. Something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye, I looked down to where a chunk of my light-blonde hair had fallen over my shoulder, darkness had creeped from the tips. The darkness was staining my blonde waves, causing them to turn black.

"W-what?" I squeaked and jumped back, the air vanished from around me and the smoke faded away. I grabbed my hair, trying to rub the black off of it. "What is this?" I panicked.

 _Stop! We don't have time for this, they are getting closer. You need to focus or we are both going to die before we can get out of here!_

My breath was heavy, my chest quickly moving, I heard my heart pounding in my ears. I gulped before I put my hand back out, I didn't know what was going on and I was so scared.

I forced myself to focus, I slammed my eyes closed and conjured the image of my room again. I held onto it with my mind for dear life, warmth reached out and touched my face.

 _Open your eyes now child._

I did as I was told, I opened my eyes and looked around. I blinked and ran to my bed. I was back in my room! "How did I do that?" I plopped onto my big warm bed and curled up on my blankets, reaching for my silver stuffed bear.

 _You are very powerful, even with as young as you are._ Aamon whispered into my head, his voice sounded further away than it had been. _It is taking a lot of energy for me to be here, I need to rest. I will come when you call, but until then. I will stay in the shadow of your mind._

I nodded slowly, I was rather tired as well. I felt like my life had been sucked out of me, I pulled my bear against my chest and ran my fingers across its soft fluff, "Sorry I worried you Piotr." I whispered and kissed it's forehead. Its fake blue eyes stared at me and I closed my own, starting to drift into sleep.

 _One last thing child. You can never tell anyone about what happened today, and you can never tell anyone my name, if you do. I will have to return home._

"I promise to keep this a secret, Aamon." I said with a sleepy voice as I yawned half-way between the demon's name. He fell silent after that, and I fell asleep only to quickly woken up by the sounds of screaming.

When I woke up, it was dark and cold. I could feel the cold stone beneath the side of my face, my right arm was back intact, having healed itself while I was out. I peered into the darkness around me, as my eyes adjusted to the light I could make out that I was in my dungeon of a room back at HYDRA headquarters.

Someone had been polite enough to remove Selma and Grace's bodies, the room stunk of bleach and was still slightly damp. The bleach left light spot stains across my black clothes.

The smell of bleach couldn't cover up the smell of death though, I could still smell it as if it was engraved into the walls and the floor of the small room. It caught in my throat and I slammed my fist into the floor. They had asked me to do it, but what if it had all been a trap? HYDRA could have brainwashed them into wanting to die, into telling me to run away.

I pushed myself up off the floor and made my way across the room, I ran my hand across the wall until my fingers landed on the light switch. I flipped the switch up and the dim lights flicked on, lighting up the room.

"Well, looks like I'm back again." I said, I walked across the room and bent down beside the cot that was my bed. I pushed the thin blanket that hung over it to the side before I reached my right arm under it and felt around.

My fingers met with the soft fabric I was looking for and I pulled my old stuffed bear out from under the bed. I brushed dust off of him and turned so I was sitting on my butt, leaning my back against the cot. I held the bear against my chest and closed my eyes.

I just wanted to feel something before I was never able to feel again; I was certain they were going to take everything from me. My thoughts, my imagination, all of my memories. I could do without the horrible memories of things they had forced me to go through; but there were still a few I wanted to hold onto.

"Aamon, are you there?" I whispered, burying my face into Piotr's fur.

 _It's been a long time since you called for me, I was starting to think you forgot I was here._

"I didn't forget about you," I laughed, rolling my eyes, "I just haven't needed you since I woke up again. I thought you had left when they put me in cryo for forty years."

 _I was trapped there in the darkness with you, just as powerless against the technology as you were._ The demon said into my head, _Do you really think they will take your free will?_

"Of course I do," I said, my fingers running through Piotr's old fur, he had a hole in his back where stuffing was falling out and missing one of his blue eyes. "They can only give me so many chances before they turn me into the Winter Soldier."

 _I see now. This is why you haven't been calling for me, you have been letting our powers natural work together to heal yourself so I can keep most of my strength._

"Exactly, I figured I would need your strength if it ever came down to this."

 _I can fight against mind control well enough, I should be able to protect you from that. However, if they are smart and they take your-"_

I cut him off quickly, "I know, if they take that then you will be forced to take over my body to keep it from decomposing." I said, we had already gone through our plan of attack ten years ago right before I was placed into a cryo chamber. I never did get an explanation as to why they had put me under ice, but I had came out even more powerful and it had halted my aging process. I hadn't aged since they put me in the tube.

 _It's a good thing we both know our part in this plan. I hope for the sake of your body that it does not come down to that. In the end, yes, I have been helping you for nearly thirty years, but I am a demon. I have only not been able to take over your body because your mind is so strong._ He said, almost sounding sad at the thought he may have to destroy my mind to keep my body going. _It will be very hard for you to take back over if it comes down to that child._

My eyes flicked closed and I held Piotr closer to me, "I know that," I said, "I guess if it comes down to that, I'll just have to kill you or you'll have to kill me."

 _Let's both keep hoping it won't come down to that then._

A sigh escaped my lips, "I might have to go away for a little while, Piotr," I told the bear, it was the only thing I had left of my father. I had had it with me when I was brought to HYDRA headquarters as a baby. "Just keep under the bed and you should be fine."

Footsteps rustled down the hallway and thoughts bombarded me, I quickly shoved the silver bear back under the bed, pressing him against the wall as far back as I could. I got up off the floor and wiped dust from my clothes before I walked towards the door.

I shifted into a fighting stance, I wasn't going to go quietly.

The door of my room slid open, and those damned blue eyes stared at me. His eyebrows furrowed together as he watched me, a black mask covered half his face but I knew it was him; there was no way I could ever forget his eyes.

"Вы не узнали ваш урок?" He growled mockingly, _you didn't learn your lesson?_

"Well you see, I'm not half dead this time. So now, I'm going to kick your ass." I snapped, cracking my knuckles by popping them with my thumbs on each hand.

A laugh escaped the man, it sounded more like he was choking than laughing but I had a feeling it was a laugh. "Это было бы слишком забавно," he said, shaking his head at me, his wavy hair bouncing against his face, "Я хотел бы видеть вас попробовать." _That would be too amusing. I would like to see you try._

"Не угрожайте мне с хорошим временем, солдат. Вы будете удивлены, как легко было бы для меня." I was all talk, but he already knew that. I didn't have to be able to see his mouth to know he was grinning. _Don't threaten me with a good time, soldier. You would be surprised how easy it would be for me._

"Ударь меня с вашим лучшим выстрел, маленькая девочка." _Hit me with your best shot, little girl._

"Сукин сын!" I lunged at him, my fist aiming for his face. _Son of a bitch._

Faster than I had lunged at him, the soldier reached out and grabbed my wrist with his left hand. The sickening sound of it snapping turned my stomach slightly, but I was getting used to such noises. He used his foot and swept my feet out from under me, I landed hard on my knees as he held onto my broken wrist, tightening the grip. "Смотрите, что вы называете мою мать, шлюха." He growled, his face closing in on mine. His forehead was just centimeters away, if it weren't for his mask; I would have been able to feel his warm breath against my face. _Watch what you call my mother, whore._

I blinked. Never in my days had I ever been called a whore, a virgin couldn't even be a whore. I slammed my forehead into his as hard as I could, closing the space between us. My head spun for a moment, he had a hard head, but the impact caused him to stagger back and quickly straighten up. He hadn't been expecting that.

He squeezed my broken bone, causing a few more to snap along with it. My lunate, scaphoid and triquetrum were definitely broken. He used his other hand to slam it against the side of my temple, causing me to see stars once more.

With my free hand, I reached up and slammed my fist into his crotch.

His blue eyes stared down at me in amusement as one of his brown eye brows rose slightly, my knuckles were met with solid plastic. Of course, I should have known he would be wearing a cup to guard his sensitive area, the rest of him was pretty well protected. Once again, his fleshy knuckles met the side of my face, this time my cheek bone.

My zygomatic cracked beneath the blow, my teeth digging deep into my tongue, he was as strong as he looked after all. I held back a groan and spit blood onto the floor as my tongue filled my mouth with the copper taste.

"Вы голову еще достаточно, шлюха?" He mocked, he was enjoying this. _Have you had enough yet, whore?_

"Пошел на хуй, ты сукин сын. Я могу сделать это в течение всего дня." _Fuck you, you son of a bitch. I can do this all day._

Something in his eyes changed at the last part of my sentence and he dropped my broken wrist, he took a step back away from me. He looked at me as if he was really seeing me for the first time, as if he didn't know what to do with me or how he felt. His thoughts were as jumbled and confused as the expression on his face, he had heard that phrase before but couldn't remember where he had heard it, but it had been from someone he cared about.

I used this as an attack of opportunity, I was off the floor in seconds and my good hand collided with the side of his face as hard as I could punch him. His mask flew across the floor, hitting the wall on the other side of the small room before it fell to floor with a soft clank. I punched again, not giving him anytime to register the first attack; my fist slammed into the side of his face and forced itself against his nose. There was no crack, no broken bones or cartilage, but blood trickled from his nostrils.

He rose his flesh-hand to his face, wiping the blood from his skin onto his hand. He looked at the red liquid before an animalistic sound left his throat; if he had been pissed for he brought me back to the base, he was even more pissed now.


End file.
